take me along with u; away from reality.

2009-06-29T20:59:00.002+08:00

i told myself that i will never wanna do decisions that i'll regret one day.
looking situations are different periods of life, im not sure whether im regreting.
sometimes it just seems i dun really know myself.
im kinda a complicated person.

come, you tell me, wad kinda person m i.
:X

2009-06-24T13:50:00.002+08:00

all this while, i cant make up my mind whether anot to close down this blog.
blogging is not really a part of my lifestyle.
but my current situation makes me wanna blog.

once again, i feel as thou im draining my life away.
staying home and doing nothing makes me sick.
im bored, really bored.
in the midst of looking for a new job in this bad economy.
workload suddenly seems alot for a low paid job.

all day long, i just couped in my small room.
chatting with ppl, playing some games, watching some show.
yet im not satisfied.
im not happy with wads going on right now.
i desperately wanna go out and work on something.

man, sometimes God puts us thru hard times to strength us.
and i believe im really going thru one now.
i needa a really big breakthrough.
i dun wanna live a life like this.
there's so much out there.
praying hard for that miracle to happen.

there are times like this where your friends just seem too busy for you.
there are times like that where everything just seems wrong and doesnt go your way.
i guess i just gotta stay strong, and believe in Him.

God, im crying out to you.

2009-01-07T23:15:00.002+08:00

我太執著了。也許我不應該這樣的執著。
受傷了，後悔了，能則麽辦？

給的太多，傷得太多，失去的更多。
我真的輸了！

2008-10-22T16:16:00.000+08:00

respect.

in life, there'll always be ppl who disagree to decisions that others make.
however, we shld always learn to respect other ppl's decision as much as we wanna change their minds.

i respect others for who they are, and the decisions that they make.
and i hope that others will also respect me for who i am, and respect the decisions that i make.

there are reasons for the decisions that i make in life.
maybe to others, this might be so small or even nothing.
but to me, this is about trust and its my life principle.

i believe my true friends will respect me for all that im and my decisions.

2008-10-21T15:09:00.000+08:00

life is contradicting.
many times, we try to pretent that certain things do not exist, thou they keep running in our minds.
many times, we try to deny so hard wad our mind and our heart says.

i guess this is wad i feel after seeing so many ppl coming in and out of my life.
i see ppl come to church and backslide.
the fact that why cant ppl still remain as friends after they made the decision to backslide from God.
does it mean that they start sliding away from us too?
does it mean that we should stop communicating to each another.

sometimes i ask myself, how much is our spiritual level related to the world.
yes, the world does affect us.
but again, its back to our faith right?

there's someone i know who used to be very close to me.
somehow he left and went to another church.
there he grew and here im happy for him.

isnt it as simple as this.?
church is suppose to be about love.

i learn to love non believers and believers.
i learn to love the ppl around me.
cos at the end of the day, i've to learn from everyone.

there're so many things that i have yet to know.
i do not just wanna stay in my comfort zone and wait for the promises.
i wanna go out and see the world and experience it for myself.

2008-09-10T12:26:00.000+08:00

hmm school sucks..!
its sucks to be back at work, when there is stacked up work from the past 2 days.
BUSY BUSY BUSYY!

COUNTDOWN.
3 more days to weekends!

2008-09-10T09:26:00.001+08:00

im back to work today after slacking for many days since last saturday.
took two days of leave to accompany BOO after he returned to sg and for his birthday.

saturday after church, went to imm with cell.
needed to get jia a gift for his cg present.
arghhh it was really difficult.
i nearly gave up.
we shopped almost the entire imm, till we ended up at s&k just before we left at 9pm.
found a cool belt! =]
thank God!

sunday was interesting.
cell ended really early, which was out of wad i expected.
normally we'll end at about 4.30pm, yet that day it ended at 3.45.
i was stunned cos needed to fetch jia from airport at 6.30pm.
so ended up slack slack till 5plus, chatting with the guys and disturbing them.

jia reached sg before we reached the airport.
but we still managed to reach the arrival hall earlier than him due to all the admin check out things that they have to do.
so there comes that silly boy.
playing with his trolley inside, refusing to come out.
haha. so i disturb him with an sms "stupid pig, faster come out. stop playing with that trolley"
keke. the best part is he came out not seeing me.
so, he saw the cg ppl who were supposed to give him a surprise.
hmm anyway im glad that he 's back.

monday jia accompanied me to get his gift together with huiying and kenneth.
watched wall-e. simple movie, but interesting.

yesterday was BOO's birthday.
went to celebrate at fisherman wharf with kinsung, lijuan, zijian, sijia, joelle, simon, jermery, huizi and kenneth.
the food there is good!!
then headed to settlers to play some games before heading home.

it marks the end of my holidays.
back to work.

BOO, its good to have you back by my side.

2008-09-06T22:36:00.000+08:00

Song by Chris Tomlim:
New version of Amazing Grace.
Its touching, and realy speaks of a Christian's walk with God. =]

2008-09-03T01:00:00.000+08:00

saw this on sandy's blog. decided to do it since im quite bored?

1) Who was the last person you fell asleep texting to? Firdaus
2) Who was the last person you couldn't take your eyes off? Jia.
3) Is your handwriting large, tiny, or pretty normal? Tiny (my dad says its for the ants to read)
4) Are you a morning person or a night person? NIGHT!!! (:
5) What would you do if you opened up your front door full of surprises? I'll smile!
7) Are you a forgiving person? I try to be.
8) What do you drink? green tea.
10) Anything bothering you now? Nothing much. (:
11) What are you listening to right now? the sound of wind. (:
12) The highlight of your week? BOO is back! yippeeeeeee.
13) Who were the last people you ate with? My bro and my dad.
14) Who is the last person you talked to on the phone? Laipeng.
15) Who was the last person to text you? Gabriel.
16) Name someone with the same birthday as you? Candice (:
17) What are your plans for tonight? Sleep. its 1.07am now.
18) If you could move somewhere else, would you? No. i love my home.
19) What does the seventh text in your inbox say? thanks.! from Mdm Cheah.
20) What's your favorite subject? Maths.
21) Do you know if anyone likes you? BOO.
22) What did you dream about last night? I dont dream.
23) What were you doing at 4am this morning? Sleeping.
24) What do you usually do first in the morning? Wash up.
25) What is making you smile now? fir talking nonsense.
26) How many different beverages have you had today? 3.
27) Any plans for today? Later im meeting up with Gabriel! (:
28) Do you want children? Haven decided on that.
29) What is on your mind now? BOO.
30) Are you expecting a phone call? YES!!!
31) If alcohol were banned, what would your reaction be? Cool! (:
32) Are you excited about this weekend? Yes! BOO will be back!
33) When you're in a bad mood, what will always put you in a better mood? Music.
34) Last time you swore? ages ago.
35) Do you still talk to the person you fell hardest for? yup!
36) Where did you last sleep other than your house? kinsung's house.

2008-09-02T23:44:00.000+08:00

yesterday i managed to meet up with all the leaders in my cg.
had an enjoyable time fellowshipping with them at SINGAPORE YACHT CLUB.
its my first time there.
as jianwei is a member of the yacht club, we are able to go there to fellowship.
the yacht club is mainly catered for the members, which made it more high class than the other country clubs.
according to jianwei, the membership isnt cheap.

we ate at the restaurant there.
the food tastes good.
the price looks nice too. (EXPENSIVE!)
and the portion is quite big, compared to the normal restaurants.
jianwei was really nice.
he treated us to a meal.
THE NEXT TIME IT SHALL BE MY TURN! =]

it was a meaningful fellowship.
we began to discuss on many aspects of our lives, about cellgroup, and ways to improve the situations.
then i was challenged, to take up a new cg by next year.
i need more faith man!
i dun wanna be where im now, i need a breakthru.
ok i shall pray about it seriously.
wait upon the Lord for His Word.

GRACE-
grace seems to be the word of the season.
it makes me realise the great meaning of this word, and the greater importance of it.

Grace [in Greek, charis (χαρις)]:
1. The enabling power sufficient for progression.
2. The indispensable gift from God for development, improvement, and character expansion.
3. The positive benefit that one does not deserve to receive.

the word GRACE is mentioned many times in the bible.
both in the New Testament and the Old Testament.

2 Corinthians 12:9
And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

many times, we neglected the part that people shld have grace for one another.
we often want others to give us more grace, give us an extra chance, yet we forget that it also applies to the others.
be it in school, in our workplace, in our family, and even in our church, we shld always learn to have more grace for people.
give others a chance, give others room for changes and improvements.

we gotta realise that we are living in an imperfect world.
no one is perfect, everyone makes mistakes.
and everyone needs others to esteem themselves for the mistake they made.
many times, we just set a mindset of people the moment the mistake is made.
this will drive people to the edge, and ruin the relationships.

many people are waiting for this one chance that they can prove themselves to others.
but this will only be possible if there are willing parties who decide to lend them a helping hand.
this is the true reality of the world.
the rich gets richer, the poor gets poorer.
people who have committed crimes before, cant be accepted by the society.
outsiders look at them with a different view.
this then limits their circle, which causes many to go back to crime.
thank God for the yellow ribbon campaign.
its all about grace, and giving others one more chance to change for the better.

God i pray that you open the hearts of people.
let there be more grace and compassion for the people in the world.
lets not limit others, like we do not want others to limit us.
we reap wad we sow.
we sow good seeds, we reap a harvest.
allow room for people to constantly change for the better.
let there be nicer words out of the mouth.
let people learn to esteem others before themselves.
let people learn to express themselves better.

this world will have peace if every one does their part and try to make this world a better place. =]

2008-08-31T21:00:00.002+08:00

FIRDAUS!
DO TAG IF YOU DO READ MY BLOG.!
OR ELSE I'LL HAVE TO FINE YOU..!
RAWRRR.!!!!!

2008-08-31T20:44:00.000+08:00

jia will be coming back like in another week's time.
3 weeks doesnt seem to pass so slowly anyway.
and finally left with only one week.
woohoo!!!

this week happens to be school holidays.
my schedule have somehow or another been packed.
so supposingly time will fly.
haha. im so happy.

Monday:
- go to school to accompany laipeng. get my work done.
- meet gabriel and jianwei to go to the yacht club for fellowship.

Tuesday:
- go to school for excursion to science centre.
- go simon's house for homemade pizza and session of intercession.

Wednesday:
- meet gabriel to go for some shopping to get some presents.
- bible study class.

Thursday:
- meet shiwei and huiying.

Friday:
- string ensemble concert.

Saturday:
- church.
- aunt's housewarming.

Sunday:
- cellgroup.
- fetch booboo.

sometimes its really good to take some time to do the things i wanna do.
this week i shld be quite contented.
YAY! =]

the unshakable faith.

2008-08-27T01:33:00.001+08:00

at last, i watched finish the entire show of 恶作剧2吻.
the story is so touching.
its about 2 people, with 2 totally different personalities.
yet they fell in love, and are married to each another.
they had such a strong love for each another.
thou many times, they do not express themselves thru words.
they express themselves thru the things they do.

the girl in the show may seem to do many silly things.
but perhaps this is how love is.
it doesnt matter about wad others think.
love is kind, love is patient.
the girl had to wait for many years before the man love her.
wad a strong attitude.

if only such stories do happen in reality.
the couple must be really loving. =]

LOVE COVERS ALL.! <33

2008-08-27T01:14:00.000+08:00

its been 6days since jia has left for thailand.
time seems to pass so slowly.
everynight, we'll just have a short chat with each another before heading to bed.
guess i'll have to make do with such arrangement.
looking at the bright side: i still get to talk to him.

finally after so long, i picked up the courage to visit the dental clinic.
generally, i do not like going to the dental clinic.
had bad experience for the past few times that i went.
so the last time i went was 3years ago, followed by today.
dentals are expensive.
they normally cost me a bomb.

today i went to the dental clinic with an unwilling heart.
praying thru my journey to the clinic, asking for God's strength and courage.
thankfully, the dentist today is nice.
a lady called cheah mei ying.
someone has almost the same name as i do.

i got my teeth checked.
apparently, after 3years, the dentist said my teeth are quite healthy.
added fillings to 2 of my teeth, as recommended by the dentist, to prevent any cavities.
then i did an xray for my teeth due to my wisdom tooth.
ended up paying 150bucks in total.

as for my wisdom tooth, i'll have to go for 2 surgeries.
its cause instead of growing upwards, my wisdom tooth is growing sideways.
for each surgery, i'll needa pay 500bucks, which excludes the consultation, medicines, etc.
considering that i needa do 2 surgeries, i'll probably be broke.
i'll try to get my 1st surgery done when jia is back in sg.
the 2nd one, i'll try to schedule it to be next year, if nth goes wrong.

so people really do pray for me.
i need healing and financial blessings.
this might be one of the biggest obstacle i needa overcome this year.

jia's birthday is coming.
he wants something that is made by me.
this is gonna be tough.
i need ideas.

TOOTH FAIRY, WILL YOU GRANT ME 3 WISHES?

2008-08-19T22:32:00.000+08:00

hmmm after soo sooo long i decided to unblock my blog.
for the past two months my blog has been out of bound.
and i have ppl coming to me asking me for the reason.
anyway now im back.

recently i haven really been feeling very well.
and i always make a stupid comment to everyone that im pregnant.
cos i feel dizzy, feel like vomitting, feel bloated, etc.
haha. im just joking.
im not Mary, how can i be pregnant without doing anything illegal?
lol. its just that i have a weak stomach for the past few months.
so sometimes when i eat certain food, i'll feel like vomitting.
so ppl, do pray for me.
pray that i'll be well soon.
i cant be feeling sick all the time to serve God.
gotta pray for healing from God.

next is that jiahui is going off to thailand for his reservice.
for 3weeks?
yes, im gonna miss him so much.
its not like he's in sg or sth.
he is so far away, which seems so uncontactable.
wadever it is, i'll needa trust God that everything will be ok.
God always make ways for us.
so i actually planned things for myself to do while he is away.
that is to keep me occupied, away from all the craps.
being away may be a good thing.
more time will also need i can serve God more, fellowship more.

im probably gonna meet up with my friends that i haven met for ages.
there are many people that im supposed to meet, but always cldnt fix a time.
guess this will be the best time for me to go meet them.
shopping spree?
in fact there are many people i miss.
lets meet up soon.! =]

2008-06-25T01:29:00.000+08:00

WHY DO PPL SAY LIES?
ENDING UP HAVING TO SAY MANY OTHER LIES TO COVER UP FOR THE FIRST LIE.

2008-06-13T01:23:00.001+08:00

back from youth camp.
seems like its really happening there.
tons of kids, appearing in front of me.
making me feel as thou im very old.
the average age should be about 15.
al of them were like so active.

today we sang alleluia to christ the lord for worship:
I WILL LIFT MY HEART AND SING
I WILL WORSHIP YOU MY KING
EARTH AND HEAVEN NOW PROCLAIM
JESUS CHRIST THE MIGHTY NAME
THROUGH THE STORM AND RAGING SEA
I WILL NEVER BE ALONE
WHEN MY HOPE SEEMS OUT OF SIGHT
I KNOW YOU WILL SHINE YOUR LIGHT
ALLELUIA
ALLELUIA
ALLELUIA
ALLELUIA
TO CHRIST THE LORD
apparently this song keep running thru my mind.

youth camp ended at about 11pm.
ate abit of supper and left abt 1120pm.
waited for bus to head home, but the bus took ages to come.
after 15min of wait, i decided that i should take a cab cos i needed to be home by 12.
but then, when i made such a decision, my bus came.
so ended up taking the bus, 61.
61 is a bus known for its super long journey.
and the frustrating thing is that the bus stops at every single stop.
i got so discouraged, and started to feel so sian.

then i told myself that i should pray.
so i began by praying in tongues, praying to God.
asking God for a smooth journey, for road to be clear.
and amazing, after that we never really stop at any traffic lights!!!
the journey that normally takes 1hr, took only 40min.
praise the Lord man.
i managed to reach home at 1215, and my dad didnt flare up.
i was so happy.! =]

then i remembered the song, alleluia to christ the lord.
THROUGH THE STORM AND RAGING SEA
I WILL NEVER BE ALONE
WHEN MY HOPE SEEMS OUT OF SIGHT
I KNOW YOU WILL SHINE YOUR LIGHT
its just like my situation.
its like saying, whenever we have difficulties, we'll never be alone, cos God is always with us. and thou we may lose hope and be discouraged, He will always make a way.

thank you Jesus for all that He has given me. =]

2008-06-08T23:48:00.000+08:00

im back from a chalet!!
its jeremy's birthday so we went to his chalet.
its really tiring cos we kinda slept very very late playing card games.
like 6 ppl big2, bridge, etc.
and as most of the ppl who stayed needa head for service, we had to wake up very early to check out.
so ended up only sleeping for about 3hrs.

ended up with only jia and i left.
we headed to have breakfast at changi village.
jia ate some chicken cutlet horfun.
it's supposed to be one of the famous food there.
the chicken cutlet was quite good, but the horfun is just normal.
i got myself one goreng pisang, one fried tapioca from this chinese store.
i quite like the food, quite well fried, and taste really good.
initially wanted to get prata, but the uncle had bad attitude, so i left.
then tot abt maybe eating beehoon, again the auntie there had bad attitude, so i left again.
bought nasi lemak for jia's aunt, then bought an extra chicken wing for jia and i to share.
bought it in the famous nasi lemak store there.
was expecting the chicken wing to taste outstandingly good, but apparently its quite normal.

cabbed to jia's place then slept abit.
dreamt about some weird things.
about ghosts, spirits, etc.
feels as thou devil is trying to do sth to me.
thank God its over.
jia left sth oppressing him too.
quite scary... =[
left for cg, cabbed again.
after leaving the cab, our wallet were both empty.
hahaa.
like usual, cg is always good.

celebrated wanlin's birthday today.
we got her a Guess wallet, which we spent lots of effort searching for it.
spencer actually bought a whole cake to celebrate for her.
above that, jeffrey's mum was really nice to prepare dumplings and tea refreshment for al of us.
we're really blessed by her, cos she nv fail to prepare food for us after our cg.

hmm this coming week will be my zone's youth camp.
i'll most prob be helping out with the activities.
i believe its gonna be another tiring week.
but i believe that this camp is gonna be real exciting.
pray for strength, pray for breakthru, pray for friends to be saved.
in Jesus's name! =]

2008-05-26T23:39:00.000+08:00

finally, one entire week of trauma is over.
p5 camp is over.
yes and the zoo trip is over.
the zoo trip has gotten me at least 30 mosquito bites on my legs within 1.5hr.(im serious!!!)
at one time, i could like see 4 mosquitoes land on my leg.
so i was trying my best to kill as many as possible.
i was located at the garden pavillion.
thou the place has good view, toilets, and is a good resting place.
but its infested with mosquitoes as it is so near the drains and ponds.
luckily managed to get insect repellent from one of my pupils, otherwise i wont be able to imagine how my leg wil have been after i left that place.
most prob it would have been totally disfigured.

last week happened to be one of my most terrible week.
in terms of physically, emotionally and spiritually.
too many things were going on at the same time.
too much for me to handle.
fell ill and managed to earn myself a day of rest for me.

emotionally wise, i had some issues with jia.
thankfully it is somewad settled between us.
just that we are still waiting for mj' reply.
other than that, everything is back to normal.
really thank those who were there to support me thru this tough period, esp my cg ppl.
i know i din really share, cos i just din wan to get so many ppl involved.

it felt really bad knowing that you are about to lose something that mean so much to you.
like wad they always say.
we will only learn to treasure the things that we have only when we lose them.
maybe i just need to learn to appreciate more.
always i told myself that i must be a strong girl.
i'll learn to go thru things all by myself.
apparently its so tough, i must learn to share.
i must learn to communicate more, and understand more.
listen more too.
im still in the process of learning. =]

2008-05-19T09:38:00.000+08:00

woot! saturday i went to the ZOO!
for work? with another 4 of my school teachers.
admission is free. heehee.
we were there to recce for our P5 camp that is coming up this week.
cos we will be playing amazing race there.
i'll be one of the gamemaster.
thank God that my location is rather good.
with tons of fans, and for my convenience, the toilet.
my game is actually very simple, as long as the pupils coordinate with each another.
its those kinda groundsheet then 15 ppl gotta squeeze into it.
then 1/2 a groundsheet, 9 ppl gotta squeeze into it.
and 1/4 groundsheet, 6 ppl gotta squeeze into it.
that about it. =]

we walked and walked to look for the location of the different stations.
and this time i guess we almost completed walking the entire zoo.
when everything was done, we headed to kfc for a bite, and some discussion by our boss.
left the place at almost 250.
rushed down to service.
luckily got two teachers send me.
they were so nice that they sent me right in front of the church gate.
thank God for them.

after service i and jia headed to clementi, to make his specs.
chose a sporty kinda specs.
then also went to cut hair.
my hair looks so terrible. ARGHHH.
didnt expect it to look this way.
i'll probably head for another haircut soon.

yes i managed to catch ironman ytd.
the show is quite good la.
it lasted about 2 hours.
the bad thing about it is that the introduction is too long.
then the exciting bad becomes too short.
but on the overall, its quite detailed.
good movie to catch. =]

2008-05-14T12:49:00.000+08:00

currently in school, seated in the HOD room blogging.
im like so boreddd.
all the teachers went for contact time meeting.
i escaped.

this morning was quite dumb.
i was so tired that i had to force myself out of bed.
then took bus and head to school.
but then, i slept on the bus and missed my busstop.
ended up in some weird place that i dunno where im at.
so i alight and board another bus from the opposite side.
initally was supposed to reach school at 8, in the end i only reached at 9.

the moment i stepped into the school, my busy day started.
had to do the nafa test for the pupils, which lasted for 2days, ytd and today.
for me, im taking the shuttle run station.
the feeling is very different sitting there as the teacher and as the pupil running.
all of them were like so nervous.
and most of them didnt do very well for this station.
there are quite a few interesting funny postures that some pupils have when they are running.
i couldnt help but laugh.

yes so today was the last day for all the 5stations.
next up, there's still the 1.6km run, which we predicted that there will be quite a number of failures.
followed by the P5 camp 3days before school ends.
holiday must faster come then my workload will be lightened.

heard from the general office that during the holiday, we'll only need to work half day everyday.
and the best thing is that we still get our full pay.
whee.!!
and i wanna go malaysia KL! anyone wanna accompany me?
then got a staff trip up on cruise.
i wanna get out of singapore! =]

as for now, im going to take a nap first.
then probably head for lunch with my clique when the teachers meeting is over.
bye!

2008-05-13T00:59:00.000+08:00

today was a rather different day for me.
most of my closer ppl in school from the different cliques are not around.
they are either on mc, or on leave, or exam leave, etc.
life is so boring without them around.
thank God there's still fir!
he practically entertain me for almost half a day.
then i was supposed to do my monthly report.
but i stopped after doing for half an hour.
arghh. i hate monthly reports.

so my day just went on and on.
after which played basketball with the new school basketball team.
its mostly made up by P4 boys.
they seem like that they still need alot of training before they can step out of the school.
alot of snatching balls, hugging ppl, throwing ball to opp team, etc.
playing with them is really like exercising my legs, cos half the time im just running around the court.
everyone wants to play solo.
apparently my role is just to help them to catch the ball and pass.
so that they can learn how to score by themselves.

yes thats with the pupils.
next up, with the teachers.
some of the teachers agreed to play badminton after school.
so there we are, 6 of us. 4 guys, 2 girls.
im like the lousiest among them all.
im never good in badminton anyway. haha.
they just smack almost all the balls.
there's one game whereby i literally stand there doing nothing cos the balls are not within my reach.
i tried going for them, but all failed.
its ok. all the guys are professionals, so they are really good!
but its really really fun.
hmm i must try harder the next time.

boo came to school to look for me.
its like so far but he still came.
anyway thanks boo.

thank God for another great day.!!! =]

2008-05-13T00:32:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BELATED MOTHER'S DAY!!!
hope all mothers enjoyed your wonderful day yesterday.
MUMMY I LOVE YOU! <33
MUMMY I MISS YOU!
hmm a couple of years has past, and i still cant get over certain things.
many times i tried telling myself that i have to let go, but its so difficult.
guess many will understand if they were in my shoes.
haha. seriously i dread mother's day every year.
if i can, i'll avoid.

sat was mother's day service.
i didnt manage to attend.
not cause i was trying to avoid, but i really had something on.
there was this stupid discussion thing that was made compulsory by moe.
thou its compulsory, there're still people who din turn up.
in my opinion, its just too boring.
i have better things to do than to attend such stupid discussion.
so dun ask me wad was said during the discussion, cos literally i wasnt listening.

back to mother's day service.
heard service was super good that day.
my cg member, jeffrey went up to share his testimony abt his mum.
and his mum was saved that very day. praise the Lord!
think he shared on sth like how his mum never fail to be there for him even when he was in prison.
whether rain or shine, whether she were to fall, she will always visit him.
his testimony actually touched many.
too bad i wasnt there to witness it.

after everything, i went down to jurong west to fellowship with my members.
managed to watch Speed Racer at JP.
the movie was really good. storyline is good.
the entire movie was mainly animation.
wad i didnt expect was the movie lasted for almost 2.5hours.
its worth the watch la.
do catch it soon.!

2008-05-10T00:57:00.002+08:00

ooo. i just realised i haven been blogging for AGES.!!!
ever since i changed my job i haven been blogging.

yes. i have changed my job to working in princess elizabeth primary school.
till now, it should have been 3 months there already.
teacher? half yes half no.
admin staff? half yes half no.
hmm basically im hired there to help the teachers with the CCA and PE stuff.
the name of my post is rather interesting.
-CCA EXECUTIVE
i know the name sounds exactly nice.
but it isnt as nice as it seems.

coming into this school has really allowed me to see how working life is really like.
a place that with politics, a place with tons of backstabbing, etc.
its really unpredictable cos here you see someone smiling at you, yet behind the walls he is stabbing you real hard.
hmm i know how terrible it feels, cos i have been stabbed a few times for things that are not true.
and the next moment you have to treat as thou nothing happened when we meet.

nevertheless, there is always good people to a story.
i have a group of people that i get along real well.
those are the people that we can feel free to do and say the things openly.
we go thru good times and tough times together.
thank God for these people, for they make my life really happy in school.
people who is there to encourage me and support me all the time.

my superior is HOD/PE.
he is a superrrr nice person.
when i have been arrowed, he will stand up for me.
when i have problems, he is there to help me solve.
he is practically the best friend i have in school.
someone that i share everything with.
now imagine, he helped me with my major project that im supposed to complete.
which boss will actually stand in the gap for others.
imagine again, he came to apologize to me for giving me too much work and making me stress.
which boss will say sorry cos he gives you work.
with him around, i feel so blessed.

i think God has been really good to me.
putting the various ppl in my life to guide me.
thank You. =]
i pray tat things will get better.
i pray that i can change the lifes of many around me.
God give me strength.

for everything i have, i'll smile.

2008-01-29T01:25:00.000+08:00

I give my all to you
Send me and i will go for you
To the ends of the earth
I'll follow after you
I want the world to know
Your love endures forever

Tell me and i'll obey
This is far greater than sacrifice
Trusting you and not myself
Will always lead to blessing
Lord have your way in me
Not my will, yours be done

Here i stand within your presence
Longing for your touch
A thousand days cannot compare
To one day in your courts

Hold me now
And never ever let me go
My Jesus, my precious saviour
I'm forever yours

I will worship you forever
I will worship you

2007-11-22T00:03:00.001+08:00

hmm life isnt very good, isnt it?
recently have been feeling kinda lost.
yet the worst thing is i dunno why.
just feels like emo-ing and crapping my way thru.

i dun feel as happy as before.
once i felt as thou many of my friends left me..
yet now it feels like i walk away from my friends..
they tried, but i keep taking step back.

wads happening to me.
i didnt expect this. ):

2007-10-31T21:01:00.001+08:00

its been two months since i stopped blogging.
i dunno why.
just didnt know wad to blog about.
in this two months, alot of things seem to be happening in my life.
i wanted to choose not to care.
i wanted to be happy.
yet sometimes i had to force the smile onto my face.

i guess this period i lost quite a few friends.
and i lost someone that used to play a big part in my life.
we shared about burdens.
we shared about joy.
we talked about everything under the sun.
but one day i walked away from the person's life.
i believe this person must really had felt so hurt.
i didnt know wad to do.
sometimes i feel like going back to look for this person.
i never did.
probably its cos i no longer know how to face this person anymore.

God, help me, im at my peak.

2007-08-31T01:59:00.001+08:00

so sad.... ):

2007-08-06T16:29:00.000+08:00

the past few days i had really been praying hard.
i was told that i would needa be transferred out of the cg.
for me, i guess it's really a challenge.
cos i didnt expect it to happen.
thank God, i was told later that i'll not be transferring out.

yesterday was the first cg after multiplication.
everything goes back to square one.
we had ten ppl attending cg.
and me, the only girl.
without me, it'll be a manhood meeting, says mj.
lol. really interesting.

cg was really good.
cos the atmosphere was strong.
i believe that n239 will breakthrough like never before.

2007-07-30T01:43:00.000+08:00

its been so long.
finally cg has multiplied.
n239 and e247 had merged since 11feb07.
till now it has been half a year.
and we had splited up to 3ways.

as for me, im still in n239, under mj.
new n239: mj, meiyin, jiahui, andrew, chinpor, jiale, roy, melvin, robson, xueni, gabriel(e247) and sixiu(e247).
im quite happy with the arrangement.
cos practically most of them are my close friends, ppl who im able to click along well.
most importantly, we grow together in the Lord.

i rem a few months along i was discussing the multiplication arrangement with the leaders and helpers.
at that time, the plan was to really mix the ppl up, unlike now.
and orginally, im supposed to be rina's helper. (:
i remembered how stressed up i was when i saw the list of who's in my cell.
i was really expecting a new environment.
but now, haha, i can just laugh.

the most interesting thing is that im placed together with jiahui.
i mean it really isnt mj's thing to place couples in the same cg.
thats wad he told me too.
originally, i wasnt with him.
i dun really have opinion on whether i'll be in the same cg as him.
there are always pros and cons right?
in the same cg, we'll be able to do things together for the cg.
in the diff cg, we'll be able to integrate more into other's live (haha thou we still can do so la.!)
anyway wad rina told me was that mj had his plan, yup so we just gotta flow.! (:

abit sad that ppl like shiwei huiying and zhiyan no longer in my cg.
but we are still in the same zone.
wadever it is, n239 is gonna be a really happening cg.
yeah, and im looking forward to it..!!!
woohoo..!
i love ya n239.. <33

2007-07-25T10:36:00.000+08:00

yesh im been missing, from everywhere.
from my msn, and my blog.
practically im just not home.

this two days quite interesting.
feels like couples night. lol.
cos went to hang out together with zhiyan and huiying.
treated them to riverside indo restaurant.
they treated us back with steamboat at zhiyan's hse.

the food at riverside indo restaurant is really good.
we ordered for a portion of 4.
yet it came and it felt as thou it could be for a portion of 6.
mostly all the food that we ate are the grilled ones.
cos those are the specialities there.
had like the tahu thingy, grilled chicken, grilled fish.
these are the sweet tasting ones.
not forgeting we had sambal ones too.
and they taste equally good.
had like kangkong vege and some sambal sotong.
and last but not least we had otah.
a total of 6dishes. (:

now to steamboat.
met jia and zhiyan at city hall mrt station.
then we headed down to like pasir ris to meet huiying.
and because we all had been fasting, we're all starving.
bought our ingredients for steamboat at pasir ris ntuc.
somehow happened that we bought too much.
for 4people.
we bought 3pack of golden mushrooms, 1pack of shitake mushroom, 1pack of xiaobaicai, 4packs of meatballs, 1pack of fishball, 1pack of some yongtaufu thingy, 1pack of crabstick, 1pack of hotdogs, 1pack of taufu, 1pack of chicken, icecream, bananas, soy dessert, etc.
the 1pack by 1pack looks small, but when you add them together!!....oops.! =X
made soup using ikan bilis stock cube.
hmm with the help of everyone, the steamboat tasted good.
thank God we only took out half the food, cos we're all so full.
ended up playing forfeit games to clear up wads left.

i like the fellowship.
i like the fun.
and at the end of the day its really about working together to make things happen.
-yesh, its the cleaning up that is the toughest part, but we still got it done. (:

2007-07-07T01:58:00.000+08:00

im bored, so did some quiz. (:

Your IQ Is 100

Your Logical Intelligence is Below Average
Your Verbal Intelligence is Average
Your Mathematical Intelligence is Genius
Your General Knowledge is Average

http://www.blogthings.com/quickanddirtyiqtest/">A Quick and Dirty IQ Test

You Belong in Spring

Optimistic, lively, and almost always happy with the world...You can truly appreciate the blooming nature of spring.Whether you're planting flowers or dyeing Easter eggs, spring is definitely your season!

http://www.blogthings.com/whatseasonareyouquiz/">What Season Are You?

Your EQ is 113

50 or less: Thanks for answering honestly. Now get yourself a shrink, quick!51-70: When it comes to understanding human emotions, you'd have better luck understanding Chinese.71-90: You've got more emotional intelligence than the average frat boy. Barely.91-110: You're average. It's easy to predict how you'll react to things. But anyone could have guessed that.111-130: You usually have it going on emotionally, but roadblocks tend to land you on your butt.131-150: You are remarkable when it comes to relating with others. Only the biggest losers get under your skin.150+: Two possibilities - you've either out "Dr. Phil-ed" Dr. Phil... or you're a dirty liar.

What's" Your EQ (Emotional Intelligence Quotient)?

You Are An Understanding Girlfriend!

You care about your guy, so much that you tend to put him firstAnd while this makes your relationship smooth, sometimes you let big things slideStill be your understanding self, but if something really bothers you - let your guy knowHe'll still want you, even if you occasionally disagree

http://www.blogthings.com/whatkindofgirlfriendareyouquiz/">What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?

You Are a Light Pink Rose

You represent sweetness and grace.
Your vibe: Kind and gentle
Falling in love with you: is like falling in love with a best friend

http://www.blogthings.com/whatcolorroseareyouquiz/">What Color Rose Are You?

Your Birthdate: December 29

You have the mind of an artist, even if you haven't developed the talent yet.Expressive and aware, you enjoy finding new ways to share your feelings.You often feel like you don't fit in - especially in traditional environments.You have big dreams. The problem is putting those dreams into action.
Your strength: Your vivid imagination
Your weakness: Fear of failure
Your power color: Coral
Your power symbol: Oval
Your power month: November

http://www.blogthings.com/whatdoesyourbirthdatemeanquiz/">What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Your Inner Child Is Surprised

You see many things through the eyes of a child.Meaning, you're rarely cynical or jaded.You cherish all of the details in life.Easily fascinated, you enjoy experiencing new things.

http://www.blogthings.com/howisyourinnerchildquiz/">How Is Your Inner Child?

2007-07-06T00:08:00.001+08:00

yesh! its been one month since i last update.
been working, shopping, etc la.! (:

let me list out the highlights of the month:
31/05 - 03/06: EMERGE!!!
11/06: SENTOSA.
15/06: KTV W/ CG.
21/06: YOUTH CAMP.
22/06: MAHJONG SESSION, CHINPOR BOOK OUT.
26/06: JIALE'S BDAY CELEBRATION, BASIC THEORY TEST.
27/06: JIALE'S BDAY, PRAYER MEETING.
29/06: IRAS FAMILY LEFT ME.
30/06: BUDDY'S PRE-OPENING CEREMONY.
01/07: BBQ W/ FAMILY.

yupp, i guess thats about it.
half of the time i've been working.

ohya.
as many knew, i and jiahui are together.
*so stop asking me!!
LOL..!
mj actually announced to the whole cg.
i think its good la. at least its official.
to me, the most impt thing in a relationship is to be blessed by the CGL.
so im glad that mj blessed this relationship.

a very impt event is gonna take place soon..!!!
ROY'S SHOP, TUNIK, IS OFFICIALLY OPEN ON 07 JULY 2007.
nice number bro! 070707.
my fave no.
do pay a visit to his shop.
he got cool stuff there..!
cineleisure level 2!!

2007-06-04T20:26:00.000+08:00

this year is the third year i attended emerge.
every year i attend emerge with great expectancy.
expecting God to move mightily and to experience God in a special way.
this year is the same too..!
EMERGE 07 is over, but i'll continue to emerge, continue to do great things for God.

after the 4days, i feel refreshed.
i wanna carry the fire of God.
i love Him more today than i love Him ytd.

this time i went there with expecting something a lil different.
usually i'll ask God, "wad do you wan me to do for You?"
this time i ask God, "wad do you wan us to do for You?"

God told me,
use wad we have in our hands.
just wad we have in our hands is enough.
look at the people that we have.
look at the people that we treasure.
look at the people that you wanna protect.

and i weeped, and kept weeping.
yet in my heart was filled with peace and happiness.
im not gonna stay where im now.
i wan more and more of the Holy Spirit.
i wanna seek Your face all my days.

2007-06-01T18:30:00.001+08:00

finally, i watched pirates.
hmm quite an interesting show to catch, with one part saying WELCOME TO SINGAPORE.
lol. we watched at the cathay, cineplex.
with myself, jiahui, shiwei, huiying, zhiyan, chinpor and victor(zy's bro).
the row that we're sitting happened to be couple seats.
haha. victor sat in a different row from us cos bought his tix later.
that day, i reached home only at 1245. TERRIBLE ME! (:

yesterday was the first day of EMERGE 2007..!
only attended session2, but its really good.
and it got telecasted all over the world. whee!

today is the second day of EMERGE 2007..!
yet the sad news is that im at home.
went for work this morning for one hour feeling really unwell.
daddy send me to work, and back home within an hour.
went to see a doctor, and its confirmed to be due to the food that i ate ytd.
was diagnosed with fever, dehydration and food poisoning.
sighh. i believe is cos of the ramy burger i ate last night.
i have alot of medicine to eat again.
within 2months, i seen the doctor 4times.

so today, i spend almost my whole day home, vomitting and having diarrhoea.
keep running to the toilet. at least 20times till now.
my meal for the day is WATER.
couldnt eat anything. really had no appetite for anything.
in a dieting process.

2007-05-29T23:09:00.000+08:00

from darling's blog:
you can't tell a person i love you, yet not willing to invest into this person's life.
similarly, if you love this person, you will want to spend time with them.

hmm i think so too lei.
if i love someone, i wont mind spending my whole day with him/her.
be it to man, or to God, i think its true.
i like dwelling in the presence of those that i love.

for now, i'll treasure wad i have in my hands.
the future? we'll talk about that another time.
lol. (:

2007-05-29T22:57:00.000+08:00

today went to cut hair.
its been quite some time since i last cut my hair.
but then, now its short, shoulder length.
there gones my long tail.

the one cutting my hair is this cute guy.
he super interesting, cos he talk to me all the way since im there.
he tot im some 16year old ahlian la, cos of my gold hair.
he requested that i shld cut off my gold portion of my hair, cos most of them are already spoilt.
so, i being a good girl listened to him.
i told him "i think you cut one inch ba"
but usually hairdressers dun understand english.
one inch seems like alot.
*gotta get them rulers and teach them about measurements*ahem*
haha.
now, my hair is back to its abit spiky mode.
gonna have fun with my hair. (:

i miss my long tail.

2007-05-28T23:00:00.000+08:00

yesh! nowadays im blogging less.
im busy, im tired.

graduation is over. its the end of my poly days.
dche, i guess there's nth really much that i hold on to.
thou there were special moments there, but i guess its past already.
i'll just kept them close to my heart.
esp those ppl that walked with me thruout my poly life.
i'll rem you. love you guys.

went to attend the social entreprenuership finals at riverwalk.
listen to many proposals.
actually not very interested, cos im not into business.
accompanied jia there to support his bro and janice.
they came in top.
the prize like is $1500. (i think so la)
congrats..!

nowadays i guess i may mia.
there are changes that happen to my life.
new addition into my life.
but im unsure.
i have no faith in it.
i guess i'll have to pray over it.
i wan to make the right decision.
the decision that is best for everyone.
esp for the ppl around me that i treasure most.
give me time.
i need time to settle things with myself.
gonna talk to mj after emerge ba.
i think he'll help me with my decision.

2007-05-21T15:28:00.000+08:00

today, 21 may 07, im not at work again.
my flesh didnt allow me to, cos its been sleeping thruout for the past few days that im sick.
including today, its the forth day i disappeared frm work.
honestly, im not well. i usually take ages to recover from a sickness.
but tmr, i'm gonna drag myself out of bed to get to work.
needa apply for leave on wed, cos its my grad day. (but im not in a grad mood. lol)

mj mentioned that cg is gonna be multiplied in 2weeks time.
yay! i cant wait for cg to be multiplied.
i needed a brand new environment, an environment that is not filled with many distractions.
i needed to go back to square one, and start everything all from the start.
i've been in a mess, a terrible mess.
total surrender, im to God.
i gotta break away from something.
something that has been bothering me for the past few months.
this time, i may need to be really determined.

2007-05-19T11:20:00.000+08:00

cool! my blogger is back to functioning mode. i can post again.
this few days have been rather ill.
having fever, cough and flu once again.
this time was worse than the previous time cos my temperature went all the way to 39.5deg.
within a month, i've visited the clinic for 3 times. contributed to the doctor allowance by almost $100.
raffles medical clinic is gonna love me alot. haha!

but i'll be strong.
wont be weak.

sermon on the mount, here i come!

2007-05-12T14:42:00.000+08:00

hmm something bad is happening. my laptop seems that it cant post anything. meaning this blog is gonna appear abit dead for the time being.

abit of recap of wad has happened the past week.
kinda slacking quite alot this week cos dun really have much to do. then jiatong and i keep taking our self-declared break. nowadays i guess i'll try to leave house earlier so that i wont be late, and so that i'll have time to go buy breakfast. wednesday i ended up working like a coolie in the office. shifted like 40boxes of paper in and out of some very tiny passageway. injured my middle finger. after that like thursday, supervisor wasnt around. practically enjoying ourselves in office. guess that was the day that i slack the most and work the least ba. chit chat around. lol. friday, never go to work, stayed at home and tidied my room abit. went out to vivocity at night. quite cool la, sit at the open area there to stare at the stars, and enjoy peace. shall go such places more. NICE! (:

2007-05-07T21:00:00.000+08:00

back to my lovely blogger. realise that the times i update my blog is getting lesser and lesser. hmm gotta do something about it, before this blog is declared dead.

the whole of my last week have been quite eventful. monday went to work, tuesday was may day, wednesday went to work, thursday took leave, friday went to work. so whole week, i only work 3days. may day went to expo for family day, then headed to sun's concert. the concert is really good, the songs were good. but it's quite noisy, abit not used to it, end up abit headache. thursday stayed at home, then went out to meet chenli. had a good chat with her. its been awhile since i talked to her.

weekends went for services. woot! its good man! SERMON ON THE MOUNT! cant wait for the remaining 8services.

2007-04-27T15:40:00.000+08:00

也许我一直害怕有答案
也许爱情仅在风里打转
离开释怀
很短暂又重来
有时候自问自答

我不要困难把我们击散
我责备自己那么不勇敢
遗憾没有到达
拥抱过还是害怕
用力推开你我一人留下

有一束光
那瞬间是什么痛得刺眼
你的视线是谅解
为什么舍不得熄灭
我逆着光却看见
那是泪光
那力量
我不想再去抵挡
面对希望逆着光
感觉爱存在的地方
一直就在我身旁

我以为无路后退
反复证明这份爱有多不对
背对着你如此漆黑
忍住疲惫
睁开眼打开窗
才发现你就是光芒!

光芒
你是光芒!

2007-04-27T14:51:00.000+08:00

here i am again. updating my blog.
this week is a really slack week for me, cos i've only been to work for one and a half day.
half day on monday, mc on tuesday, full day on wednesday, and leave on thursday and friday.
staying at home can be a good thing and a bad thing. erm, it means that i can have more rest to recover from my irritating sickness, but it also means that my brain is more free to think of wadever craps and rubbish it wans.
for the second time, i went to see the doctor. this is probably one of the longest time that im ever sick. this time, i had even more medicines than before. previously, its only 3 (for my fever, cough and flu), this time its 4 (for just my cough and flu). for people that know me well, they would definitely know how much i really dislike eating medicine. both times, i had to be forced by my super caring dad to see a doctor.
i've been reading a chinese love novel for the past few days. its a real sad story, yet true love is revealed. it shows how strong love can be, at times of need. the ending concludes that time and love is not necessary proportional. thou the period of time that was spend may be alot, it doesnt mean that the love is strong. to this, i totally agreed.
coming up, it's weekends again. im gonna be busy again. but im excited, its time when i get to hear God's word, get to feel His strong presence, and get to fellowship with my loved members.
today is suwan's birthday. suwan is someone that i watch her grow up. she's just like my lil sister. a pretty, smart and elegant dancer. its been a long while since i last seen her. im glad to c her integrated into HOGC, doing well in her church now, rising up slowly but surely. suwan, someday i'll see you dance again. missing you lots man! HAPPY BIRTHDAY LITTLE SISTER! (:

2007-04-23T21:33:00.000+08:00

2007-04-23T21:11:00.000+08:00

MY EVERYTHING

The loneliness of nights alone
the search for strength to carry on
my every hope has seemed to die
my eyes had no more tears to cry
then like the sun shining up above
you surrounded me with your endless love
Cuz all the things I couldn't see are now so clear to me

You are my everything
Nothing your love won't bring
My life is yours alone
The only love I've ever known
Your spirit pulls me through
When nothing else will do
Every night I pray
On bended knee
That you will always be
My everything

Now all my hopes and all my dreams
are suddenly reality
you've opened up my heart to feel
a kind of love that's truly real
a guiding light that'll never fade
there's not a thing in life that I would ever trade
for the love you give it won't let go
I hope you'll always know

You are my everything
Nothing your love won't bring
My life is yours alone
The only love I've ever known
Your spirit pulls me through
When nothing else will do
Every night I pray
On bended knee
That you will always be

My everything
You're the breath of life in me
the only one that sets me free
and you have made my soul complete
for all time (for all time)

You are my everything (you are my everything)
Nothing your love won't bring (nothing your love won't bring)
My life is yours alone (alone)
The only love I've ever known
Your spirit pulls me through (your spirit pulls me through)
When nothing else will do (when nothing else will do)
Every night I pray (I pray)
On bended knee (on my knee)
That you will always be
be my everything

2007-04-23T20:44:00.000+08:00

ya i know, its been ages since i last update. not cos i choose not to update, just that my lappy is down, so couldnt post anything. not becos "someone" not around k (refering to the tag post)

yupp that someone is back in sg. can say that im glad, cos its been one month. we catch up quite a bit during the whole week while he's on leave. for everything, thank you, you silly one.

so many things have passed tis few weeks. benny hinn svc was really powerful. its the time when u get to see God moving mightily. the blind began to see, the mute began to talk, the lame began to walk. thou it's tiring, im glad that im part of the choir. the whole weekend changed me alot, and it realy strengthened my faith. cant believe myself falling in the presence of God for 4times just in one service, and its the first time i experienced wad holy laughter is all about. COOL! (:

anddd the fact that i've been so sick. have been taking leave since last thursday. went for work today, but cos wasnt really feeling well, my supervisor persuaded me to go home and rest.

chatted with mj on sat over sth im really bothered about. somehow i felt as thou im being betrayed by dunno who. but perhaps that person did it out of concern. made me ponder on some stuff and i wrote him an essay, 487 words.

cell group was great! during worship, i asked God, why why all the things are happening in my life. i really felt very tired, and felt like giving up, but the other half of me is telling me to keep on going on. God spoke a word to me. PERSEVERANCE. felt really encouraged, then i wrote that word on my notebook. who knows, perseverance was part of the cg sermon! ptl! in times of need, it's You i seek, always. thank You for the works in my life. (:

2007-04-06T22:54:00.000+08:00

haven really been feeling well recently.
down with a fever, and migraine is back.
i guess it's due to the lack of sleep, and the staring of the computer.
really bad for my health.

wednesday i took half day off just to meet up with jane.
realised that jeff is actually still in sg.
in my mind was "oh no!" cos i really dun feel like seeing him.

thursday time past really quickly in office.
finished work like 2hours before i end work, when everyone's not done yet.
slack around doing all the 'you de, mei you de', do inspection ard office.

hmm today is easter once again.
i received salvation on this day two years ago.
which means im two years old in the Lord.
drama was good! alot of special effects this year, and they brought out a real snake!

kinda pissed off today cos of sth.
this is the first time after so long that i really felt like whacking someone.
alot of unexplainable mixed feelings.
and got a lecturing for nothing!
if there's anything that others are not happy about me, please say it in front of me, dun hide behind my back and gossip!
convince me that im in the wrong, otherwise dun anyhow accuse others!!!

2007-04-02T23:16:00.000+08:00

thursday
prayer meeting was really good.. atmosphere was really strong.. but i kinda lose my voice at the end of it.

friday
choir full dress rehearsal. went thru the previous 20 songs, and learnt another 20 songs. cant really get the new songs cos only like sing once thru. had to sit on the floor throughout, leg cramp.

saturday
mark conner svc. was late, cos was at my aunt's place playing pool till i forgot about the time. overall was good, talked about the 5 ways of connecting with God. i think im the relational, and the charismatic type. din fellowship cos i needa head to bishan. took train with jiale. the whole journey super paiseh, cos he keep making fun of me. i wanna throw away my jacket le. jia called back from taiwan, talked awhile then end up no reception kana cut off.

sunday
combine cg outing. total of 15people. 5 from e247, 10 from n239. as usual, i got thrown into the sea. anyway it always happen, so nth new. played vball. they made me dive to save alot of balls, end up now whole body aching. i kinda having rash. =[ ate at food republic for dinner. blessed zhiyan and huiying for lunch and yenling for dinner. yeah! its always good to bless others than to receive. shopped ard then headed home.

monday
wasnt really feeling well. kinda feeling sick, and aching everywhere. my muscles all feel overstretched. but today i travel like crazy. from novena to ps, on search for chamelon, but it closed down already. from ps to raffles city, meet jiale and his friend clarence. from raffles city to tiong bahru, went with shiwei to buy comb then the other two went off first. from tiong bahru to jurong east, to meet with jiale. the both of us go watch mr bean la. super crappy show!!! from jurong east to home, home sweet home.

2007-03-28T23:32:00.000+08:00

long time since my last update.
been working working and working......
but i still get at least one hour to slack every single day.
the last hour is the hardest to pass, cos nth to do.
so practise writing my name.

think i abit lack of sleep.
every morning super tired, like must force myself to get out of bed.
then nowadays spend alot of money.
buy breakfast, lunch, etc.
almost everyday needa draw one time money.
jialat.
like that i got no more money liao.
no more source of income.
sighh so sad.. haha. (:

alot of things that i needa pray about recently.
this period of time is really stretching my capacity.
i believe it'll make me stronger, real stronger.
so many things coming up.
lots of preparation to do.
even in the midst of work, im doing church stuff (hopefully i wont get caught)
pray for me!!
i need strength!!!

2007-03-22T00:56:00.000+08:00

if you dont want people to have the wrong idea, but why are you always doing the things that mislead others. i don't know your heart, God knows. but what you're doing, your words, your actions tells them all.
-from chenli's blog.

darling im thinking about that too... *dead!
too many misunderstanding will kill...

2007-03-22T00:43:00.000+08:00

there's no need for any explanation.
cos it wasnt meant to be like this from the start.
im starting to view a clearer picture of wads going on.
it tells me of the path that i should go, but i dun feel like letting go.
i have no capacity to fight at all.
perhaps i chose to give it up.
just hoping that im able to quietly walk away.

2007-03-20T22:54:00.000+08:00

first day of work.
super tiring.
learnt alot of new stuff today.
yet my mind seems to be somewhere else.

God wad have u called me to do?
m i where im supposed to be?

have i done the right thing yesterday?
i guess im really puzzled.
im kinda feel rather stupid, at the tot of it...

2007-03-20T02:18:00.000+08:00

self denial.

the worst thing people can do to themselves is to lie to the whole world, including themselves.
how painful it is to keep something to yourself?
how painful it is to keep the truth sometimes?
does telling ourselves lies make us happier?

alot of times, people are searching for answers.
an answer that might bring more hurts.

then we turn back, and look for memories.
trying hard not to focus on the present.

is it something worth fighting for?
dun give up before you tried your best?
perhaps...yet filled with uncertainity.

tears should stop falling.
as we turn our heads towards God.

2007-03-19T15:51:00.000+08:00

n239 farewell lunch with jia ytd, at swensens.

its time u leave us, n239 to do something even greater.

i'll remember you, silly one.

take care. (:

2007-03-16T00:29:00.000+08:00

i think im a selfish girl.
i think im a bad friend.

i dunno wad im thinkingg...

2007-03-15T13:42:00.000+08:00

two girls,
two good friends,
holding on to the same fate,
going thru the same thing at the same time.

our conclusion, WAIT!!!
haha.
God give us a clear mind!!! (:

2007-03-15T00:55:00.000+08:00

James 1:12
Blessed is the man who endures temptation; for when he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him.

go reason with God?
hmm is there room for reasoning.
i'll endure, and hold on to the end.
no matter wad happens, no matter wad is the conclusion.
i'll hold on.

darling, i fear.
of wad you said.
if you're right im dead.
and im running away.
off off and away...........

2007-03-13T00:56:00.000+08:00

its been a really long time since i last updated this blog.
quite alot of things happen this month.
alot of emotions.

had human monopoly yesterday.
wasnt very happy, cos practically it was quite a bad day for me.
lack of sleep i think.
somemore never eat anything for almost the whole day.
ended up having gastrics.
in the day, eat cola sweets, drink 2cups of coke from mac, 1cup of ice lemon tea from BK, 2bottles of water.
ate fried rice only at 7.30pm.
ran around east coast park, which caused my muscles to be aching now.
guess its still better being a station master.
haha. no running, free suntan, no achings.
went to IT fair to look for andrew.
lots and lots of people, and met quite a no. of my friends there.
keep saying hello, to at least 5people.
left after awhile, cos too tired, took a bus home all the way.

today wasnt a much better day either.
for some reason or another, i had this stupid stomachache for the whole day.
so practically most of the time im resting in bed.
ate medicine, but like doesnt seem to help much.
and my legs feels so painful.
when your legs are in such a state, the worst thing to have to climb up and down the stairs.
hopefully i'll feel better tmr.

2007-02-26T23:42:00.000+08:00

someone asked me, why burdens are placed on us.
i guess they are there to mould us to be a better and stronger person.
when there are burdens, we tend to strive for the higher, and go up to another level.

prayers is like playing with lego. wad we pray for, is wad we'll build.
wad are my goals?
most importantly i think i needa re-adjust my living.
re-adjusting is not impossible, its a choice that has to be made.
my physical life needs to be re-adjusted. gotta learn to lead a healthy lifestyle. needa sleep earlier.
our body is the temple of God, so its important to take good care of it.
my emotional life needs to be re-adjusted. gotta learn to share more with others, so that i wont build up too many walls.
like wad sarina said, in God, we do not need to put up a strong front, we can be ourselves.
my spiritual life needs to be re-adjusted. gotta pray more, read the bible more.
FOCUS! so that i wont falter so easily.
i needa have more faith and trust in Him. have a better relationship with Him.
seek love not from the natural, but the supernatural. (:

2007-02-26T23:39:00.000+08:00

saturday is over, sunday is over.
these two days have been a torture.
many worries, many incertainities.
lots of tears produced.
but im glad that its finally OVER.
and a big thank you to the silly one that accompanied me till 4am.

the tough periods are over, and im gonna stand strong again.
in my life, i've gone thru alot, even many things that others have not gone thru before.
all these things have made me stronger, and from it i gain experience.
every moment of our life is something that we can treasure, be it good or bad.
i'll not deny that i lived my life the very hard way, and its very painful.
but there're also others that are living the life i have gone thru.
i wanna step out of it officially, i dun wanna be stuck in my past.
its time i move on.
my past will be kept as memories, will always remember them.
in past hurts, i'll learn to forgive. so that the memories kept will only be the beautiful ones.

2007-02-23T00:07:00.000+08:00

its end of all the holidays.
most of the people are back to work, yet im super free.
haven really been doing much recently.
perhaps its time i start finding a job, and start working.
not doing anything is real boring. eat, sleep, watch tv. typical pig. soon i'll be fat.
can someone be nice to teach me how to do up a resume?
hmm how come poly doesnt teach me to write one..

21 january: jia's mum went back to malaysia. then i went over to look for him after that in orchard. walked around to look for mango cos i bought a belt that is extremely big, so needa change. went mos burger to eat. super funny, someone dropped almost 3/4 of the fillings cos he wanted to remove a slice of tomato, which in the end went into his stomach. met up with zhiyan at ps, then watched norbit at cathay cineplex. norbit is super funny la! the girl is seriously FAT! paid money to laugh at a big screen. lol. zhiyan and jia ate at crystal jade, then i sit there play game. huiying came over and join us, then went to eat dou hua. took train to bugis, to eat dinner with some people.

22 january: the best day ever. woke up super late at 11am. watched tv, then went back to school to return my library books which are dued for ages. had lunch and watched tv all the way till 4plus. sleep. wake up le watch tv again. met xun to eat dinner at my market there. home watch tv all the way to 11. do some stuff and now bloggin. guess the only useful thing i've done today is collect attendance for prayer meeting, cell group and service. quite stressful thou. n239 must learn to reply to sms more. just sending sms to the whole cg, think i sent about 100sms today. this month's bill should be scary.

2007-02-20T10:38:00.000+08:00

2days of new year have passed. today is the third day, and tmr lots of people is gonna head back to work.

first day of new year:
went to granny's house to bai nian. then went to temple to bai my ahgong. alot of ppl there. happen to meet chris there. she cut her hair till super super short, then my relatives all tot she's a guy. hahaa. went to another temple to bai my mummy, and my greatgrandma. headed to adam hawker centre to eat indian rojak and nasi lemak. home. sleep. wake up. sleep. wake up. off to granny's house again for dinner.

second day of new year:
went to grandma house for lunch. compared to the other granny's place, this one is noisier. stayed there watched tv, play cards, etc. left for jo's house. lil chloe got new clothes to wear. another plate of yusheng, then make till the whole table super dirty. thanks to one of my cousins. raise his chopsticks till so high then throw the food down. i dun like yusheng, i only eat the crackers. slack slack awhile then went home le. gotta prepare cos all of them coming over to my place, so must do last min tidying. daddy bought dinner back for all of them to eat. after dinner, got mahjong table set up for the adults to play. since i cant play then i went back to my room hoping to be able to have some peace. who knows, my laptop kana taken up by two of my cousins. no room to be in, no laptop to use, this is craziness!!!

today's the third day. where will i be heading? lunch at aunt angelia's house. dinner at aunt patricia's house. maybe going chinpor's house. (:

i wanna be alone, i wanna walk away.
i dun wanna be so 'fan'. ]=
*darling, im not gonna make it true. it cannot happen. i'll go away.

2007-02-18T00:28:00.000+08:00

HAPPY LUNAR NEW YEAR TO ALL!!!
new year is the busiest time of the year.
lots of shopping to do, lots of cleaning up, and lots of money being spent.!

the past two days went on a shopping spree.
walked from lido to plaza singapura, from raffles city to marina square.
just this two days i guess i spent at least 10hours of shopping.

had steamboat just now, as usual. we always eat steamboat on new year's eve.
fish, vege, abalone, scallop, beef, fishball, sotong, egg, mushroom, tofu, crabstick, prawns...
eat till wanna vomit.

there a new pet hamster at my cousin's place, called hamy.
super cute, super active.. run all around the house.
hopefully i get to own a pet one day. (:

2007-02-16T00:26:00.000+08:00

today i finally cleared most of my new year shopping. almost bought all the things that i needa to buy. met shiwei andrew zhixian at bugis, then took taxi down to expo for service. service was about relationships, relationship with God, friends, and loved ones. its good. accompany robson, eric, shiwei down for prayers. paster prayed for those who went down, but i didnt get prayed. the presence was super strong. thou i was being laid hands on, i almost fell back. guess for the first time, shiwei fell in the spirit. its good. Holy Spirit is working in her! prayed for shiwei quietly after that. God speak to me about the areas she is struggling in. overall its quite a good day. just rather emo towards the end of the day.

for a moment, i felt like im the most foolish person;
for a moment, i felt like tearing that turtle up;
for a moment, im speechless;
for a moment, i hoped im invisible;
for a moment, i hoped i could turn back time;
for a moment, i thank God that its just a moment.

2007-02-15T05:23:00.000+08:00

yesterday was valentine day.
my valentine day this year is a little different from usual.
usually my valentine day is spent romantically.
this year i spend it in a group, of 10people.
robson, zhihao, eric, zhixian, andrew, priscilla, meiping, shiwei, jiahui, and me!
went to eat steamboat at marina bay.
interesting things happen at marina bay.
firstly, its so romantic to walk from marina bay mrt station to our final destination, without noeing whether we are heading in the right direction.
secondly, there were free meals. lol.
maybe sometimes its good to be late? haha.
din really eat much cos wasnt feeling very well.
thirdly, my red wine was stolen and got itself into some turtle's stomach, leaving me with only one sip to drink.
fourthly, some turtle got kissed by his dearest darling andrew. *oops!
special day celebrated in a special way.

gifts of the year:
this year only gave gifts to 2person, called the turtle and the rabbit family.
gave turtle a turtle card.
gave rabbit a heart shaped pillow with a lil bear.
received 3 handmade roses from my darlingg.
received something special.
overall, its a great valentine day!

2007-02-12T00:42:00.000+08:00

today attended the first cgm together with the other cg. i kinda can click and blend in with quite a few of them already. this will be my start. atmosphere for cg is really good today. presence of God was really strong. guess due to the difference in the number of people, cgm feels so different!. became noisier, livelier. had some valentine's gifts from some of the members today. received quite alot, yet didnt prepare anything. at first wanted to prepare some white present for some turtle, but i decided not to. wahahahaha... after cg, had a short leaders-helpers meeting. talked about following up the members in the cg, which will help in the multiplication. hmm this also means that im gonna be kinda busy for this few weeks, alot of events coming up, alot of preparations, esp for the upcoming outreach. headed for causeway point. ate with cg, gloria, vincent and alan at this restaurant called kampong days. then went over to pasar malam to look for darlingg. happen to meet up with some irritating handphone cover uncle. he super rude, product got problem yet blame it on the phone. give all the stupid attitude. didnt he hear before that customers are always right? went over to another shop to buy handphone cover. the uncle there is much nicer, friendlier. walked around at causeway point, bought a bedsheet. met john at clementi to eat supper, cos is his birthday tmr. stingray, sotong, vege. alot of good food today, gonna grow fat.
anyway HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOHN!!!!

2007-02-10T23:18:00.000+08:00

friday.
met up with andrew to shop around but end up din buy anything.
jia booked out already, came over and look for us.
saw darling at mrt station. so qiao she going suntec.
shiwei end work, came and look for us.
the rest of the cg slowly appeared one by one.

saturday.
stayed home.
met andrew and zhixian at clementi mrt, then he late half an hour.
met robson and jia at tanah merah.
cg merge le. then sit together. for the first time sit 4 row from the stage.
briefing with sarina.
went to city hall for dinner.

hmm super sad.
crying in the mrt is something very stupid and paiseh. but dunno y i always do that.
so many people staring at u, and so many people asking wad happen.
have been thinking, in life is there a right or wrong answer?
right and wrong answer are quite subjective i think.
for certain things, there may be a "right" answer to it.
but for others, i guess it really depends.
sometimes things can be done on impulse, sometimes things have different meanings to it, sometimes....
arent there alot of sometimes?
i cant expect people to have the same thinking as me.
but being misunderstood is something very sad.
esp when my intepretation of something may be different from someone else.
perhaps its really better that i stay at home.

2007-02-08T11:39:00.000+08:00

today is the last exam, which is the last day that i actually needa be in school.
BIOPROCESS ENGINEERING PRINCIPLES!
hmm this is the paper that i hate most and fear most, and cos of that, i study the hardest.
imagine me sitting down on the desk for the whole day mugging?
i put in alot of effort for this paper, hopefully able to do well.
yet, i went to flip thru the past year papers, the questions are so tough!
and my confidence got pulled down. im really scared now.
i've only got about 2 more hours to exam and so much incertainites.
God help me!! i need the wisdom. i need all the theory into my head.
may my head not go blank in the exam hall.!
ok! i shall go and study and PRAY now.
lol. do the final revisions. (:
wish me all the best.!

2007-02-06T23:32:00.000+08:00

for some reason or another, im gonna be a good girl today, TRY to sleep EARLY. maybe off to bed about 12plus?

haven been doing anything useful today. talk on the phone, watch tv, play games, sleep, eat. yupp, guess thats about it! realise that STUDYING is not on that list. practically really been slacking, despite my last paper. 2more days and end of my poly life, no more lectures, no more notes, 60% freedom. the remaining 40% belongs to my dad. lol.

anyway gotta wake up early tmr (HOPEFULLY) to study. so ciaoz.

2007-02-05T23:25:00.000+08:00

today is my second exam. overall was quite okie! made some stupid mistakes, end up losing marks for nothing. guess thats it to my A, but im fine with B la.

have been doing the cell group's members particulars. took up almost my whole day. did up the first contact list and sent out, without noeing that there are more information like the address required. end up gotta update the list. got the cg to send me their address, and it took ages. only managed to send out the updated contact list awhile ago.

one more paper to go, the worse paper of all. hopefully i mug tmr. im a noob in biology. hate it. haha.!

2007-02-02T00:44:00.000+08:00

guess there's sth wrong with blogger, sometimes my blog can be viewed, sometimes its on error, when i never even do anything. CRAZY!.

today never even study at all. went out in the morning for bs. talked with mj about the different ppl in the cg, and SOT again. cg will no longer be at chinpor's place, maybe back to mj hse. after that when to cut hair and eat at teahouse restaurant. the food there not bad la. my hair super short.. like boy liao le, the good thing is that i can spike my hair. the bad thing is that my fringe sucks, regret cutting it. met up with some of the cg ppl for dinner. shop, chitchat and its alr 1030. then all head home..

2007-02-02T00:36:00.000+08:00

i've screwed up for my first exam. ARGHH.
guess its due to insufficient preparation and insufficient sleep.
this morning im real tired, couldnt wake up to go for exam. thank God im not late.
the questions werent tough, they're the questions that i've been practicing on the whole night.
yet the moment i stepped into the exam hall, POOF! my brain went blank. couldnt think, couldnt recall anything. all the equations in my head started to mess up. next i dun even noe how to approach the questions.
conclusion, DEAD!

one paper down, another two more to go. one on monday, another on thursday.
pray that i'll do well for my paper on monday, cos i guess i'll screw the paper on thursday.
bio paper, i dun have much of expectation, just hoping for a D. if possible a C?
perhaps i really needa study real hard for my last two papers. not to let history repeat itself?
monday's maths paper, i must score!! gonna get my A for it man!

lesser slacking, more hard work.
lesser tv, more notes.
lesser computer games, more brainstorming.
lesser distraction, more concentration.
lesser sleep, more prayers.
lesser fear, more faith. (:

gotta be optimistic.
gotta forget about the first paper.
now's all about how i finish the race. gotta be a good finisher! (^-^)v

2007-01-29T23:25:00.000+08:00

today is a TIRED day. woke up at 12plus, yet still feeling so tired...
supposed to be studying today, but din have much of motivation. ended up doing stupid things like watching tv, playing computer game. exams is just like 33hrs away.! gosh. im like so dead la. percentage completed: 30%? tmr confirm gonna chiong. i needa stop getting distracted.. i hate exams... i shall just get done with it, and enjoy my holidayss...

2007-01-29T00:00:00.000+08:00

*6 areas we needa be strong in:

1. Spiritually.
in 2007, im must make the effort to pray more and read the bible more. draw closer to God. i wanna experience God in a greater way this year. LISTEN and OBEY to His words.

2. Practically.
in 2007, i wanna be a great testimony for God in everything that i do. start doing things that i've never done before. impact the people that are around me.

3. Relationally.
in 2007, i hope to be able to communicate better with the people that are around me. learn to walk into their lives. must be interested in their lives. encourage people more, compliment them more.

4. Physically.
in 2007, i must exercise more, be fitter! more trainings to come. go on an diet.

5. Financially.
in 2007, i must learn to have a better control over my money. start planning for my future.

6. Emotionally.
in 2007, i must learn to be less emotional. more happiness, more joy, less crappyness, less tears. learn to let go of past things, and learn to pick up new things.

2007-01-28T01:52:00.000+08:00

bad day, bad mood.
irritating migraine.
injured leg, burnt arm.
crappy tots.
lots of tears.

which day could be worse than this? ARGHHHHHH!

2007-01-27T11:48:00.000+08:00

all my emo days are kinda back again, which is not a very good thing i supposed? too many tots, causing all the unnecessary tears.

when im emo, i tend to do real stupid things.. ytd when im on my way home, im in like quite deep tots, till i managed to get up a bus without even noeing. only till the bus turned a different route then i realised. end up walking like 2bus stops in the rain...

im gonna prove to myself that all this tots in my mind, will not happen in reality, and its only my stupid feelings... (:

2007-01-26T01:07:00.000+08:00

after so many days of stoning at home, i decided to go out for some fresh air. hahaa. went to orchard, then to suntec to look for some of the cg ppl (shiwei, chinpor, zhixian, andrew). jia and i were super late, reach only at about 8. robson and eric left before we reached. anyway, i've got a new pet, a cute lil piggy. its a gift from someone, or maybe a gift for myself. lol. (:

hmm these toys all got special meaning to it. heehee. and only special toys get the previlage to sleep on my bed. (:

sometimes, after spending too much time alone at home, we'll start appreciating the fellowships that we have together. the craps that we talk about, the jokes that we make, and even the small talks. when we spend too much time together, we tend to neglect the people around us. maybe sometimes think that its just a waste of time, i mean its not that we wont be seeing each another for a long period of time, we get to see each another at least twice a week kinda thing. i'll learn to treasure all these quality time spent together. sometimes people can be irritating at times, making rumours here and there. haha. its just human nature i guess, i do that too once in a while. but these are ways to actually start a topic going. too much of coindence lead to lots of trouble. its okie, im not gonna take these things to heart, i'll just ACT BLUR! (:

-I JUST NEEDA BE ME!

2007-01-23T23:47:00.000+08:00

finally, i can relax abit and give myself a break. tests are over, projects are done. wads left is the EXAMSS!!! 3 exams to take, lots of worries to make.

do pray for me for my exams, im kinda worried. esp for my bio, something im ~~NEVER~~ good at!
31 jan: Mass Transfer B
5 feb: QAAS
8 feb: Bioprocess Engineering

talked to my lecturer today, then was like rather sian. listening to wad he said to me, it really made me think alot. like how im this semester as compared to the previous semesters. seriously i've slackened alot compared to before. sometimes i feel that i dun wanna go school is cos i wanna avoid jeff. the feeling is so weird. i hope to run as far as possible... :XXXXX
-FROM TODAY ON, I'LL JIAYOU DE! STUDY HARD FOR MY EXAMS AND GET DONE WITH IT! (:

laptop is gonna be returned tmr, im like quite sad, cos have been using it for so long.. HAHA!

2007-01-22T15:26:00.000+08:00

-DOWN WITH A FEVER! :(
recently, been feeling rather sick and tired. all my migraine seems to be coming back. guess is because of my lack of sleep. nowadays have been sleeping quite late, earliest about 3am i think. gotta wake up early the next morning. after school, i take a nap, which is like almost the same number of hours then my sleeping time. my sleeping cycle seems to be in a mess.

cell group multiplication is gonna take place in june. n239 is gonna combine with one of sarina's cg in feb, then multiply 3ways. anyway, its gloria's cg. 14members in their cg + 16members from our cg = total 30members. gloria's cg is quite united i guess... hmm dunno whether this multiplication will be a good thing anot. ~~i dun like cg multiplications!~~

PRAYER MEETING TMR~!

2007-01-21T01:29:00.000+08:00

Interesting fact #1:
Blogs are meant to be read, not to be listened. *so please dun ask me to read my blog for anyone to listen. (:

Interesting fact #2:
My clock moves faster when others is late, and it moves slower when im late. *my clock goes according to my circumstances. (:

Interesting fact #3:
Everyone should learn not to appear offline, cos thats my previlage. *no copycats please. (:

Interesting fact #4:
Im not a nice girl, im just a naughty girl who likes to bully people. *if u haven realise that, its not too late to know now. run before its too late. (:

Interesting fact #5:
The only way to contact me is through my hp or msn. *if im uncontactable at that moment means im not free to entertain anyone, please try again later. (:

these are 5 interesting facts about me. hmm you just gotta know me A LITTLE BETTER.

2007-01-20T23:56:00.000+08:00

visitors on my blog, interesting..! currently 4 offical viewers of the blog, which includes myself, darling, doggy turtle piggy, bestie. yupp.! :)

ytd spent my whole day slacking at home, doing nothing much.. SLACK, when im supposed to be either mugging or project-ing. meet up with jia and shiwei to go woodlands, to find darlingg. she working at the pasar malam there, be boss.. quite cooL la. hmm step into causeway point awhile then jia say needa go off liao, for makeup cg.. then i like abit siann. PSK! but also like bopian, cos sunday he cant attend cg. *jia, dun need feel guilty.. the most u let me bully you more to compensate.. lol. tried some clothes, but never buy. went over to disturb darlingg. chit chat awhile then went home le. my night was totally crappy, thinking of crabs!!! while im crapping, someone's sleeping.. anyway thanks for being nice, thanks for being there.. appreciated. :DDDDD

today went for svc, long message but learnt alot. more things to ponder on..

2007-01-19T00:38:00.000+08:00

another week has ended, and next week is the last week before my exams. haven really started studying for my exams. currently, still got one report and one test more. :(
haven been feeling too well this few days, like got some kinda stomach flu. ended up having to go see a doctor, get a mc, and eat medicine. i ~~hate~~ medicines! most of the time i go to the doctor and not eat the medicines, but this time i had no choice. the pain is like super killer. cant even remember the number of times i ran to the toilet today. i pray that i'll be better tmr, so that i can go out!! im almost bored to death just this few days, trying to recuperate. wonder how some turtle can stay home for 2months? guess i would have died by then. :DDDDD

*DAREN AND DIYA WON THE SUPERSTAR THINGY!
expected isnt it? actually carrie's voice also not that bad la, quite powerful. (:

2007-01-17T15:08:00.000+08:00

IT FEELS LIKE ~~CRAP!~~ :XXX

2007-01-15T18:00:00.000+08:00

recently haven been feeling very good, especially when so many things have been coming towards me at the same time.
sometimes, i do doubt the people around me, cos i'll never noe wad they are thinking at the back of their heads. sometimes, i tend to feel betrayed by the people around me. end up hearing things from some people, yet not even knowing where's the source. i used to take all this things that others say for granted, all i needa do is be myself. at the end of the day, i find that its very difficult, cos it never seems to end.
i needa a break for myself, a little more peace. stop irritating me with information that are not even true at all.
guess people needs to ponder on wad friendship is really all about. for those who have been talking behind people's back, please mind ur own business. wad u do upon others, will be done back to you.

i do thank God, cos i do have a few true friends with me. perhaps im blessed.
these people laugh with me in good times, and cry with me in bad times.
i'll treasure them always. (:

2007-01-08T23:01:00.000+08:00

hmm weekend had passed, weekdays are here, school reopened, workload gonna come in, stress building up.

saturday is huiying's bday. went over to her place for celebration. service. went to wisma food republic for dinner. home.

sunday. homeeeeeeeee...

monday. school started. only like 2hours lesson then went home to sleep. feeling like super tired today, somemore got a bad headache. abit no mood for anything... feeling CRAPPY!!!!!

2007-01-05T17:52:00.000+08:00

haven really been doing much this few days. basically only stoning and rotting? hahaa. been staying home most of the days since new year's day. too many days of shopping makes me wanna stay home i guess? but the contradicting thing is that home is so boring, cos there's nth much i can really do other than staring at my laptop and tv. hmm im a troublesome ger!!!

had a one day break and went out ytd. gone all the way to novena, met shiwei during her lunch break for lunch at velocity, mos. ate some apple pie which scalded my poor lil finger. :( walked around novena square for awhile then she needa go back office le. so waited for some silly turtle to get out of his camp which is like forever. haha. met him at the mrt station then walked towards united square. united square is like some kiddy place, most of the shops there are like catered for lil kids. level 1 smells like lemon grass!!! rotted at mac and made stars there. at night, we met up with chinpor, andrew, zhiyan to walk around in ps.
-im not being silly when i hide my feelings, cos i dun need the whole world to understand wad im feeling.-

today, PROJECT as promised... still in the progress of trying to get it finished up.

school is starting, which means i dun really have much time left having fun. when school comes, it means exams comes too!!! gonna have to start mugging soon.

2007-01-02T18:57:00.000+08:00

30 dec: LAST SERVICE!
its the last service for the year. n239 presented mj an appreciation gift, with the photos of ourselves and our appreciation message to him. im glad that he liked the gift. n239 also presented me with a gift, a notebook, something that i really need. thanks man!

31 dec: COUNTDOWN!
met up with some of my cg members at vivo to fellowship. left for bishan after that to celebrate new year eve at my cousin's hse. played card with jia on the way there. took a bus down from bishan, but end up alight one stop earlier, so haf to walk. had steamboat there, with lots of food, and CRAB! haha. all the kids went over to esplanade to watch the fireworks. the crowd was like WOW! and the place was smelly, squeezy, and foamy! the journey home was always quite interesting cos i only managed to reach home at 3plus am, when i left esplanade at 12plus am.

1 jan: NEW YEAR!
its a new year, its 2007~! wanted to go candice place to meet some ppl for breakfast at 630, in the end cldnt wake up, only went there like 9plus. went candice hse watch tv, play games, sleep. left there at 1230 to go pioneer mall, cos the guys wanna play dota. i dapao mac go up and watch them play. left pioneer mall at abt 4, acc candice to walk ard at jp. finally home to slp.!

2007-01-02T18:26:00.000+08:00

27 dec: DARLING'S BIG DAY!
met jia to go darling's hse. gave her the first surprise cos din tell her beforehand. went to bishan to watch happy feet with her. yx and rubez came to join us. after movie, told her jia went toilet, but actually he went to buy cake. brought her to an open space, to wait for jia. gave her the second surprise with the cake!

28 dec: APPRECIATION NIGHT!
our theme was smart casual. everyone was dressed in their jackets and sunglasses. had praise and worship, testimony by gloria, sermon and award presentation. was like nominated for 2awards by dunno who. best cell group member and most serving member. was quite a surprise for me! ended about 1030, then cg celebrated my bday for me. they got me a purple tshirt, and chocolate puff (cos i told rubez i dun wan cake). haha. had supper at simei.

29 dec: MY DAY!
darling and jia came over to give me a surprise at my hse, when my hse is like in a mess. then i like super paiseh. rubez, shiwei, zhiyan, darling and jia shared to get me a jacket and $50. went over to marina square to eat jack's place. darling went off awhile later. she got me a forever friends bear. super cute! at night, went over to ps to meet my cg members. they dedicated a song for me, so sweet! after that, went over to mr bean cafe, andrew got me a cake. lucky not much of sabo! thanks to those who celebrated my bday for me, u guys made my day special. (:

2007-01-02T17:58:00.000+08:00

its been a long longg time since i last updated! like 20days i guess? im too busy handling missions maybe? haha..

18-19 dec: DINNER AND DANCE DAY!
had a great time at pan pac with some of my classmates. took alot of photos! had mac like 3am in the morning. guess we are all crazy!

20-22 dec: CRUISE!
shopping at malaysia.

23-25 dec: CHRISTMAS!
for the first time, i attended 3svcs, drama was good! candlelight for 3times, the view's so beautiful! took alot of photos, had alot of fun. super blessed this year, received like tons and tons of presents.

25 dec: CHRISTMAS PARTY!
played some angel and mortal game. my mortal is chinpor, got him 2 sketch books. thank god he likes them. my angel is jiahui! hmm im not surprised that its him, but im surprised that he got me a bracelet. its nice, thanks! =DD fellowship at esplanade, with truth or dare.

...-26 dec: MISSION!
for a very special person. (:

2006-12-14T15:38:00.000+08:00

in school now waiting for time to pass. time is really going very slowly today. today is quite a BIG day i guess?

firstly its my fyp presentation. im really worried that i dun do well. im never good in presentation. usually i'll stumble. wads more? im presenting the part on the theory.

secondly today marks one year after i broke up with jeff, this also means that our problems already existed for one year! never ever got a ruined friendship that lasted for one whole year, and still going. looking at him now, i can only tell myself "wad shld i say". seriously, towards him is an empty feelingg, weird feeling? the day that our friendship might start over again might not even come. not really expecting anythingg. =X

thirdly, today is the last day of school and its HOLIDAYS!! 3weeks of break. dinner and dance, cruise, christmas, appreciation night, darling's bday, my birthday, candice's birthday, new year! im excited!!! whee!! ((:

2006-12-14T15:23:00.000+08:00

monday, only went to school for test. din do really well, but expected cos its a language module. then went over to debbie's hse with jane n yvn to try the dresses. we like playing some kinda fashion show, change in and out. hahaa. took a cab down to ps to meet jia hy n zy. we watched happy feett. walked around ps for a while then hy n zy went off. so left me and jia. walked down towards somerset area to meet up with kenneth. on the way i went to disturb xiaolaogong. make jia try clothes then left the clothes on the table for her to keep. met up with kenneth le went to cine eat ljs. shiwei join us and we walk at taka. jia bought like 4presents for xmas. i ordered a jacket. :)

tuesday went to pm at ymca. then went over to sandy's chalet. reached there alr like 8+pm. instead of eating the bbq there, we went to eat kfc. stayed there till 1030 then daddy came to fetch me.

wednesday was a really long day. in school from 8am to 7pm. had cls graduation party which is quite lame.. took alot of pic thou. :)

2006-12-11T02:18:00.000+08:00

The Five R's to Victory in our Thought Life

1. RECOGNIZE and REJECT the wrong thoughts (negative or tempting) that come against you (2 Cor. 10:5). Any thought that is BAD is a wrong thought. Self-defeat, self-pity, resentment, fear, guilt, negativism, jealousy, worry, discouragement. Don't let them get authority in your mind and grow a harvest. If satan sows one of these seeds in your mind refuse it with authority. (Gal.6:7)

5 Basic areas of the Soul - Though Processes, Emotions, Imaginations, Memories, Will

Satan comes against us in our THOUGH PROCESSES. Then his attacks spread to our EMOTIONS. This flashes a picture on the screen of our IMAGINATIONS. This begins to replay tapes from our MEMORIES of similar past experiences. The WILL POWER is taken over.

2. REBUKE the appropriate spirit in the name of Jesus (Matt.16:19). Evil spirits are real. They can usually be identified by the negative emotions which are present, e.g. anxiety, depression, hatred, rage, rebellion, loneliness, sadness, fantasy, unbelief, etc. They feed on our negative emotions and hurts, infecting and worsening them. We can and must command them to leave us alone.

3. RECITE what God's Word says about the problem area and RENEW YOUR MIND in it (Rom.12:2). We must begin to view life from God's perspective. Stand against circumstances. Don't let circumstances dictate to you, you let the Word of God dictate to your circumstances. Stand on God's Word.

4. RESIST the devil and he will flee from you (Jas. 4:7)! God didn't make us to be runners, so don't ever run from the devil. God wants us to be resistors! He wants us to be WARRIORS!!!

5. REJOICE in ALL things (1Thes. 5:18). Cultivate an ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE. Be grateful, giving thanks in all things. Such obedience will lift burdens, change your perspective and bless you in countless ways..

2006-12-11T01:09:00.000+08:00

darling said: for the impossible, God will do the miracle. for the possible, God expects us to work harder. really. don't ever give up.
yingzz said: AMEN!!!

seriously, i needa be like mary. i needa overcome the situations that are in front of me now... thou im an ordinary person, but God uses ordinary ppl to do extraordinary things for him. mary had fears too, but she overcame them. she had great faith. i needa build up such faith, faith that will overcome the fears that are within me. i cant let anything pull me down, i needa stand strong and face all the different obstacles that are placed in front of me. thank God for the ppl who tries all their means to bring me down, thank God for the ppl who speak bad about me. these are the ppl who will build my faith. i'll fight the fight of faith. no weapon formed against me shall prosper!!! >:DDD

2006-12-09T00:43:00.000+08:00

these two days were the mj zone camp. its really good. on the first day, during worship, they off the lights and i kneeled down before the Lord. the presence of God was really strong, and i teared, crying out to the Lord. i need a new anointingg, im really tired. mj prayed for everyone. its good, and i felt as thou im being pushed back.. the moment mj lay hands on me, i fell. the second day was more of an evangelistic one. alot of ppl came. there's drama, preaching and bbq.

been feeling really very bad recently. i feel really burdened by the things happening around me, esp my cg stuff. i ask God what is there i can do for you. everything seems so difficult and impossible. looking at the situation now, i stay stagnant, im not movingg. i look at the ppl around me, jia zhiyan shiwei huiying robson andrew.. there are so many things that needa be changed. but i feel like i dun really have tat capacity to carry so many things. among my cg members, i guess jia is the closest to me. now, i dun even noe how to communicate with him. or maybe i fear. someone told me when a frenship begin to drift away, it'll nv be the same again. when i think of my cg members, i felt as thou im so distant away from them, i dun seem to understand any of them.

before i become a cgh, i had most of them as my close frenz. but now, i feel im starting to lose them all. emptyness. my heart hurts, it really does. i wanna draw near to them, but i feel they are drawing away. all this pain i couldnt bear, all these words i couldnt say. all i wanna let them noe is i do love them alot, and i treasure everyone in n239.

2006-12-05T12:21:00.000+08:00

monday was quite a bad day. alot of things in my mind. different ppl and different things are driving me nuts. my biggest burden will always be on cg. when i look at the ppl, im disappointed. i mean how many of them are really here wanting to serve God. i feel most of them are here to have fun and to make friends. then i ask myself again, if they wanna juz come to have fun and make friends, do they have to come here? they are in the world and of the world. thank God for darling and carol last nightt. spent a few hours talking to darling abt our cg stuff. the both of us are going thru a difficult time. the problems that surfaced seems to be of the same kind. but we're not gonna give up!!! we're going to do more than just our best. we'll give it all out!!! SACRIFICE, to You!!! (:

because of you, i'll smile.
because of you, i'll live.
because of you, i'll keep pressing on.
its all because i love you.

2006-12-04T10:41:00.001+08:00

saturday went out quite late. only left the house when i need to go to expo to meet some of the ppl in the zone. by right, we are supposed to have a meeting at 330pm, then pushed back to 4pm, and in the end dun have meeting. lol. so went back to expo mrt station to meet shiwei and head for hall8. tried to enter by the backdoor. who knows there's no access that day cos got some pm thingy.. walked back to enter from the main door. the hall opened super late, like 430pm. and at 445, there's only 4ppl from my cell, the rest not reached yet. sighh. today's attendance is bad too! like 10ppl? REVIVAL!!!! after svc, supposed to go for camp meeting, wasnt really feeling well so told them i wont be going. went with cg to vivocity. jia made me 2 doggy balloons, then zy gave me one sword balloon. its like im taking 3 balloons the whole journey home. too many balloons, too lil hands. (:

sunday went to jack's place to eat lunch with daddy and xun. then rushed home cos im supposed to meet shiwei at 115pm. we went over to mj hse. then the moment i step in, kana suan alr. jialat. cg atmosphere was really bad during praise and worship. its really quiet.!! mj was trying super hard to bring up the atmosphere. another cg message abt prayers! prayers is about denying ourselves, and putting him first! its good (: mj prayed for everyone in the cg. for most ppl, he prayed for the revival in their prayer life. but for me, mj didnt focus on prayer, he prayed for hurts and disappointment. i teared, didnt really noe why. started to think about the things in my life. realised that there's things that is standing between me and God. God gave me a word, and for the first time, i actually decided to share. somehow when i opened my mouth, i had no voice, i sounded super weird. felt something stopping me from speaking. hmmm....interesting..! after cg, shiwei rubez weikiat meiping and me went over to parkway. we shopped around for awhile, meiping headed for work and weikiat went home to slp. the rest of us continued shopping. rubez and i managed to accomplish quite some stuff today. yeah! bought a shirt from dorothy perkins, and my dress FINALLY!!! now im left with heels? >:DDD

2006-12-04T10:41:00.000+08:00

wednesday went to school as usual. ended school quite early then went to do projectt. met jia at boonkeng for dinner then head home le.

friday morning went over to lavendar to acc my bro change his passport photo. haha. then he took the photo look like ah beng. the lady there super fierce then keep telling my bro that his hair cannot cover his eyebrows. lol. after that lei, went over to swim and suntan. happened to see liduan there, but nv go and say hi to her cos she tanning. chiong home to finish up my part for the report then send to my fren. headed for darling's mama shop at near angmokio?bishan? darling made some dumpling soup and some yi mian thingy for me to eat. very nice! hee. then sat there talk talk.... at 645, we went over to meet shiwei at orchard mrt station. its really SHOPPING lor. esp when i've got an objective to meet, then become super stress. tried like 8 dresses lorr, but all nv buy. its either too ex, or not nice.. haha. from wisma, we walk to taka, to heeren, to OG (to meet xiaolaogong), to ps. waited for bren to end work and went home together. bullied her the whole journey back. thats my duty rite? but feel abit bad la, cos she's sick...

2006-11-29T01:49:00.000+08:00

monday, a super sleepy day. imagine only getting to slp for 2hours. took my test and its super crappy and difficult. firstly, its a language module that im not good in. secondly, my brain is like half dead, couldnt really think. wads worst, my hp went flat on me. so i had to live a day w/o hp. back to fyp, start doing my gantt chart. again, by myself, i had to complete 3 drafts of the gantt chart. my group members were like walking around, chatting while im busy rushing work. how ironic. literally, school ended at 130pm. yet i stayed in school till 530pm. wad haf i been doing? hmm just trying to print my fyp report. the printers lag big time, and they are jamming like nobody's business. so ended up printing a 150pages report for 4hours. WOW!!! and finally, i handed up my report. one less burden, feeling alot lightened. time to celebrate. so instead of going home to rest after not really sleeping for the past few days, i went to marina square with xun and daddy. went to eat at spadeddies italian kitchen, then shopped around marina square and suntec. xun bought a new 1000pieces puzzle which cost 60dollars. headed home. managed to get some rest on the journey home. started doing up the puzzle. :)

tuesday was just a normal simple day. went for class at 1pm. all the way till 4pm. then something happened. we were talking about project stuff then jane cried. guess she's really very stressed up. i mean she really wans to get things done, but most of the time ppl end up disappointing her. im oso rather stressed up. this few weeks alot of things needa be handed up, and yet so lil time. everything is like rushing here and there de. end up pon 4pm tutorial, and acc jane to take mrt. hope she's fine now. reached home, watched 'the break-up'. at night, rush proj again. wrote a 9pages write-up on health. hmm.. now can take a breather, shall continue tmr.. im gonna enjoy my wonderful night.. xDDDDD

2006-11-29T01:30:00.000+08:00

sunday is HUMAN MONOPOLY day. met up with all the helpers cum station ics at 10am harbourfront. some of us ate their brunch there before going.. i n chloe shared a bowl of mianxian cos the both of us got no appetite. quite pathetic la. but have to eat abit cos we expected that we wont be able to eat till night. so there's me, chloe, carol, des, jason, mingyao, allan, haohan, peiwen, jiji, daniel. so the 11 of us squeeze into 2 cars and headed to sentosa. went to palawan beach and brief through the games again. looking at all the stuff we prepared for this outreach, super got 'man zhu gan'. after all we spend the past few days praying and fasting, and working on this. at 2pm lei, it started to rain. then all of us started praying real hard cos the game is supposed to start at 250pm. at 245, most of the ppl arrived, but it's still raining. everyone looked disappointed. miracle happened, the rain stopped at 250 and the sun came out. indeed God is faithful, everything went as planned. it ended at 530. im the station ic the whole time. how i wished i could join in the fun as well.. heehee. we cleared up and left sentosa. went to harbourfront hawker there to eat then went home. im really tired, cos the previous night i slept only at abt 3am and had to wake up at 7am. yet i couldnt take a nap cos i had to rush fyp, monday is the submission. end up only rested in the bus on the home. when i reached home, began to chiong fyp, start writing my logbook which ended up to be 20pages. did all the way to like 5am. and gosh, monday's first lesson is at 8, and test is at 830am. zzz....