disintegrate

rate

finally im done with my blog.
took so long before i decided to make one.
and im so proud of myself cos i actually figured it out by myself (:
like wad carolyn told me, i gotta be independent n stop depending on others.
by being independent i really can get to noe wad my abilities are,
and i really can do more things then i tot i could!
thank god for al this abilities!

have been so busy with so many things recently that realli got me to think.
thank god for great frenz in my life that really help me n there to encourage me.
chenli, carolyn, rubez, jiahui, zhiyan...
they are the best bro n sis that i can ever have.
i wanna noe al of them better
the only way to spend more time with them and be interested in their lifes. (:

its time for me to grow up and stop being childish n stop thinking of childish stuff.
i wanna grow stronger in the Lord! i need more faith in many things.
i needa trust on His word n His promises. n lift all my problems and burdens to Him.
i wanna make an impact in my cell group, in building the unity and bond among the ppl
n239 is a family. so really gotta link our hearts together.
this would only come back to one conclusion.
that is i needa read the bible more, and PRAY more
cos there is power in prayer! yeah!

certain things in my life i noe i have to let go.
and yet i really dunno how to.
i missing my babiee so much. so many things i wished to tell him but i cant.
everything is like a foolish thinking of my own.
i noe that i can nv be with him. what am i or who am i to be beside him?
im juz a small christian, in the process of growing.
but he's gotta be a cell group leader soon. its impossible.
SPIRITUAL DIFFERENCE is like so great. how m i supposed to catch up?
everyday having to face him in class seems to be a torture to me
and all i can do is swallow all of this down my throat and take it as nothing's happening.
im always sitting somewhere behind u, juz to notice al of ur movements.
how i wished i could tell u on ur face that u needa FOCUS!
stop slping in class, stop ponning lessons, stop playing dota during lessons
change a group of frenz that will help u to study.
start paying attention in class.
there's so many things i noe cos i care.
cos u're so special to me.

so many times i ask God
"y r u doing this to me, noeing that i'll be so hurt?"
"y muz u place us together for so long and speak to him abt our break-up?"
it really puzzled me!
esp when bro mj spoke to me abt u ytd.
i was like "wad?"
y out of no where, i dun rem toking this topic to u for the past half a year?
and bro mj said "meiyin, forget about jeff."
got a new information today
im doing my EIC test with wenda n JEFF!
y is it him again? haven i been trying al i could to avoid him
God, wad are u doing, wad r u hinting to me?
i tot the members in the group are picked randomly?

nah. i needa focus on my other stuff.
i do believe that there is a purpose for everything in my life.
God will nv place sth that i cannot overcome.
as long as u r happy, i'll be.
as long as u r happy, i'll forget abt all my hurts.
juz to noe that u r doing well.

think its time i go and study for my test tml!
3 chpts, 37 pages.
God shall bless me in my test. haha.
and it's He who will provide me with the strength and the wisdom!
and for everything, i'll give thanks... (^-^)v