disintegrate

rate

long time since my last update.
been working working and working......
but i still get at least one hour to slack every single day.
the last hour is the hardest to pass, cos nth to do.
so practise writing my name.

think i abit lack of sleep.
every morning super tired, like must force myself to get out of bed.
then nowadays spend alot of money.
buy breakfast, lunch, etc.
almost everyday needa draw one time money.
jialat.
like that i got no more money liao.
no more source of income.
sighh so sad.. haha. (:

alot of things that i needa pray about recently.
this period of time is really stretching my capacity.
i believe it'll make me stronger, real stronger.
so many things coming up.
lots of preparation to do.
even in the midst of work, im doing church stuff (hopefully i wont get caught)
pray for me!!
i need strength!!!

if you dont want people to have the wrong idea, but why are you always doing the things that mislead others. i don't know your heart, God knows. but what you're doing, your words, your actions tells them all.
-from chenli's blog.

darling im thinking about that too... *dead!
too many misunderstanding will kill...

there's no need for any explanation.
cos it wasnt meant to be like this from the start.
im starting to view a clearer picture of wads going on.
it tells me of the path that i should go, but i dun feel like letting go.
i have no capacity to fight at all.
perhaps i chose to give it up.
just hoping that im able to quietly walk away.

first day of work.
super tiring.
learnt alot of new stuff today.
yet my mind seems to be somewhere else.

God wad have u called me to do?
m i where im supposed to be?

have i done the right thing yesterday?
i guess im really puzzled.
im kinda feel rather stupid, at the tot of it...

self denial.

the worst thing people can do to themselves is to lie to the whole world, including themselves.
how painful it is to keep something to yourself?
how painful it is to keep the truth sometimes?
does telling ourselves lies make us happier?

alot of times, people are searching for answers.
an answer that might bring more hurts.

then we turn back, and look for memories.
trying hard not to focus on the present.

is it something worth fighting for?
dun give up before you tried your best?
perhaps...yet filled with uncertainity.

tears should stop falling.
as we turn our heads towards God.

n239 farewell lunch with jia ytd, at swensens.

its time u leave us, n239 to do something even greater.

i'll remember you, silly one.

take care. (:

i think im a selfish girl.
i think im a bad friend.

i dunno wad im thinkingg...

two girls,
two good friends,
holding on to the same fate,
going thru the same thing at the same time.

our conclusion, WAIT!!!
haha.
God give us a clear mind!!! (:

James 1:12
Blessed is the man who endures temptation; for when he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him.

go reason with God?
hmm is there room for reasoning.
i'll endure, and hold on to the end.
no matter wad happens, no matter wad is the conclusion.
i'll hold on.

darling, i fear.
of wad you said.
if you're right im dead.
and im running away.
off off and away...........

its been a really long time since i last updated this blog.
quite alot of things happen this month.
alot of emotions.

had human monopoly yesterday.
wasnt very happy, cos practically it was quite a bad day for me.
lack of sleep i think.
somemore never eat anything for almost the whole day.
ended up having gastrics.
in the day, eat cola sweets, drink 2cups of coke from mac, 1cup of ice lemon tea from BK, 2bottles of water.
ate fried rice only at 7.30pm.
ran around east coast park, which caused my muscles to be aching now.
guess its still better being a station master.
haha. no running, free suntan, no achings.
went to IT fair to look for andrew.
lots and lots of people, and met quite a no. of my friends there.
keep saying hello, to at least 5people.
left after awhile, cos too tired, took a bus home all the way.

today wasnt a much better day either.
for some reason or another, i had this stupid stomachache for the whole day.
so practically most of the time im resting in bed.
ate medicine, but like doesnt seem to help much.
and my legs feels so painful.
when your legs are in such a state, the worst thing to have to climb up and down the stairs.
hopefully i'll feel better tmr.