disintegrate

life is contradicting.
many times, we try to pretent that certain things do not exist, thou they keep running in our minds.
many times, we try to deny so hard wad our mind and our heart says.

i guess this is wad i feel after seeing so many ppl coming in and out of my life.
i see ppl come to church and backslide.
the fact that why cant ppl still remain as friends after they made the decision to backslide from God.
does it mean that they start sliding away from us too?
does it mean that we should stop communicating to each another.

sometimes i ask myself, how much is our spiritual level related to the world.
yes, the world does affect us.
but again, its back to our faith right?

there's someone i know who used to be very close to me.
somehow he left and went to another church.
there he grew and here im happy for him.

isnt it as simple as this.?
church is suppose to be about love.

i learn to love non believers and believers.
i learn to love the ppl around me.
cos at the end of the day, i've to learn from everyone.

there're so many things that i have yet to know.
i do not just wanna stay in my comfort zone and wait for the promises.
i wanna go out and see the world and experience it for myself.