disintegrate

rate

monday, a super sleepy day. imagine only getting to slp for 2hours. took my test and its super crappy and difficult. firstly, its a language module that im not good in. secondly, my brain is like half dead, couldnt really think. wads worst, my hp went flat on me. so i had to live a day w/o hp. back to fyp, start doing my gantt chart. again, by myself, i had to complete 3 drafts of the gantt chart. my group members were like walking around, chatting while im busy rushing work. how ironic. literally, school ended at 130pm. yet i stayed in school till 530pm. wad haf i been doing? hmm just trying to print my fyp report. the printers lag big time, and they are jamming like nobody's business. so ended up printing a 150pages report for 4hours. WOW!!! and finally, i handed up my report. one less burden, feeling alot lightened. time to celebrate. so instead of going home to rest after not really sleeping for the past few days, i went to marina square with xun and daddy. went to eat at spadeddies italian kitchen, then shopped around marina square and suntec. xun bought a new 1000pieces puzzle which cost 60dollars. headed home. managed to get some rest on the journey home. started doing up the puzzle. :)

tuesday was just a normal simple day. went for class at 1pm. all the way till 4pm. then something happened. we were talking about project stuff then jane cried. guess she's really very stressed up. i mean she really wans to get things done, but most of the time ppl end up disappointing her. im oso rather stressed up. this few weeks alot of things needa be handed up, and yet so lil time. everything is like rushing here and there de. end up pon 4pm tutorial, and acc jane to take mrt. hope she's fine now. reached home, watched 'the break-up'. at night, rush proj again. wrote a 9pages write-up on health. hmm.. now can take a breather, shall continue tmr.. im gonna enjoy my wonderful night.. xDDDDD

sunday is HUMAN MONOPOLY day. met up with all the helpers cum station ics at 10am harbourfront. some of us ate their brunch there before going.. i n chloe shared a bowl of mianxian cos the both of us got no appetite. quite pathetic la. but have to eat abit cos we expected that we wont be able to eat till night. so there's me, chloe, carol, des, jason, mingyao, allan, haohan, peiwen, jiji, daniel. so the 11 of us squeeze into 2 cars and headed to sentosa. went to palawan beach and brief through the games again. looking at all the stuff we prepared for this outreach, super got 'man zhu gan'. after all we spend the past few days praying and fasting, and working on this. at 2pm lei, it started to rain. then all of us started praying real hard cos the game is supposed to start at 250pm. at 245, most of the ppl arrived, but it's still raining. everyone looked disappointed. miracle happened, the rain stopped at 250 and the sun came out. indeed God is faithful, everything went as planned. it ended at 530. im the station ic the whole time. how i wished i could join in the fun as well.. heehee. we cleared up and left sentosa. went to harbourfront hawker there to eat then went home. im really tired, cos the previous night i slept only at abt 3am and had to wake up at 7am. yet i couldnt take a nap cos i had to rush fyp, monday is the submission. end up only rested in the bus on the home. when i reached home, began to chiong fyp, start writing my logbook which ended up to be 20pages. did all the way to like 5am. and gosh, monday's first lesson is at 8, and test is at 830am. zzz....

friday i stayed home for almost the whole day. went out with my bro early in the morning to imm to eat breakfast. imagine, we got out of the house at 8am, reached imm at 830am. walked around and couldnt really decide on wad to eat. end up eating burger king. stone around then went to giant to walk around since thats the only place open. went home. at night went to serangoon to meet jiahui and some ppl to eat dinner at chomp chomp.

saturday is like a fully church day. met shiwei at 945am to go to mj hse for cic class. cic lesson started at 1130am, and ended at 145pm. cell group starts at 2pm to 330pm. then rushed down for svc at 5. after svc had briefing for human monopoly outreach. all the helpers stay at expo all the way to ten plus, some even 11plus. home, prepare the stuff required for the outreach..

today nv attend any lessons at all, supposing to have one tutorial at 8am but i couldnt wake up. went to school for fyp at 12plus. go there abit waste of time, cos nv do much of things. the guys there playing cs and dota on their laptop. sighh. went to meet my supervisor regarding fyp. in the end, stayed there for about 2hours STANDING. but its good, at least he said our report is almost done alr, juz gotta add abit more and put them together, thats about it.. 4 more days to chiong and finish up report, and after that FREEDOM!!! i'll feel super lightened..

then today help mj regarding the bs crash courses. hmm somehow get a lil irritated. cos i have ppl telling me 'dunno', 'c how first', 'something like that'. i mean its a very simple yes and no answer. i can joke with anyone when we are together having fun, but not on such matters. when it comes to church matters, i hope to be serious abt it.. and i hope my members do noe when to be serious and when to have fun too. other than that, i got half of the ppl choosing not to reply. these are the ppl who adds work onto others. pray for these ppl to repent on wad they have done.

*DARLINGG, pls take care of urself k.. when helping ur mum must be extra careful, otherwise will easily scald urself again de.. xDDDDD

today i pon one lecture again. recently have been ponning quite a few classes. firstly cos i dun really have much of motivation to study. i mean i really dislike studying, esp when there's so many things that is needed to be done and there is so lil time. secondly is cos i needa rush my projects and assignments, which are mostly due this week. thirdly cos i felt i really needed rest, alot of rest. have been sleeping really late recently, like 4am. felt as thou my eyes can hardly open most of the time. despite the naps i have in the afternoon, i dun seem to really be able to get concentration.

ytd went to church for helpers meeting and prayer meeting. new missions to accomplish, somemore this time i doing the organisingg. hmm guess will be quite shiong but i will breakthrough. amen! met my cg members at lobby before going into auditorium. happened to see simon there. he was like waving at me. was quite amazed that he actually rem me? then when about to go down saw hb. during prayer meeting, the presence of God was rather strong.. and for the first time, there's breakthru attendance for prayer meeting, 8ppl.. normally if got 5 ppl alr counted very good le.. heehee.

today went to best coffeeshop to celebrate yueze's birthday. i pull shiwei to acc me go. haha. otherwise will very paiseh cos all w384 de, then suddenly got one from n239 pop up. but thank God im invited. feeling so honoured... wahahahahahahaa... had blackforest cake, thanks to w384. managed to get some cream on yueze. his cg members all so guai nv go sabo him. hmm hopefully my bday that time my cg members will also give me such treatment.. no saboing is the best. no throwing of cake, no throwing me into the sea! yeahh.. and also dun need too big group of ppl celebrate for me. maybe just some special ppl, some close frenz, i'll already feel super blessed. xDDDD

this weekend alot of things happen in the cg, dun wanna really elaborate on it.. cg was good today, its about speaking in tongues. mj made us speak in tongues and sing in the spirit. think its good, cos these are the things that will build the holiness in the cg. the cg needs to be a lil more holy, and less worldly. the cg is growing to have all the habits of the world, which is so bad.. hopefully me, roy, mj will be able to solve this BIG problem asap.. otherwise all of us the head wil super big.. mj prayed for spirit of tongues for some ppl. atmosphere wasnt really that good today thou, plus there are certain ppl in the cg that are going thru some things in their lifes, and there's some conflict going on..

this weekend have been spending alot of time with my bro. think its good, cos im sowing into his life. accompanied him to play pool yesterday.. something interestingg. i nv knew how to play pool, and my bro is quite good at it.. but end up i won him, must be by God's grace.. hee. today went to vivo together with him.. spent like 4hrs plus shopping together with him. he spend almost 90dollars today. and all the things he bought is i choose de.. wahahahahahaaa.. blessed him to eat thai express today.. the food very nicee.. xDDD love my lil babyboy, xun!!! im lucky cos most ppl dun haf such a rs with their siblingss.!

thursday (161106)
did quite alot of things. morning went to school for lessons. then met jia for lunch at lot 1. after that went over to ang mo kio to meet some ppl to go to zoo. walked around zoo for about 2hours plus before we left. took alot of photos, of ourselves and the animals. the group of us then rushed down to meet shiwei at angmokio for dinner. we're super late, end up shiwei waited for us for about 50min. so sorryy.. its really hard to handle big group of ppl cos everyone wants to do different things. gotta tell them off many times before ppl will start movingg, which can be quite irritatingg. a few of us went up to zhiyan's hse to sit for awhile and watch abit of la-bi-xiao-xin before leaving. spend quite some time toking to shiwei. SHIWEI, U NEEDA JIAYOU, AND BE STRONG!!!!

friday (171106)
talked to jia abit, and realised that the saf is a crazy place. they are so stupid lor, like no brain de, cant have a tot for the ppl one lei.. went shopping together with jane, yvn and deb. looked at quite alot of dresses and shoes today.. realised that i really look weird in dresses, make me look like a lil ger.. hmm thats not the image im wanting to portray! lol. bought a new belt today. its super big so needa go punch extra holes on it. met shiwei at city hall to go cut hair at kimage. she cut her hair shorter then i cut my fringe only. i quite heng.. made two new frenz today, charmaine and vess. they help me to wash, blow and style my hair for free!! heehee. thou i juz know them, they treated me very nicely. bought a necklace from roy's website. at first its sold out, but in the end roy said the customer decided not to have it, so i can have it. i mean im really lucky lorr. feel super blessed. thank God for all the things that is happening around me.

this is the necklace i bought.. pretty? its called "Jesus, Key to Your Heart".

how cld i forget godma's bday. how forgetful i am. sighh. anyway HAPPY 34th BIRTHDAY GODMA! its supposed to be 2days ago.. miss her so much. its been a long time since i seen her. if i remember correctly i haven seen her for almost 2years already. dunno hows she.. hope she's doing well.. she changed her work environment, hopefully she will be able to adapt well there. and ya, she juz got lil babies... finally! cos i rem her telling me she didnt wan to have kids. lol.

loving ya always TRICIA SEETOH! <33

today lei. imma good ger cos i nv pon any single lesson, guai guai stay in school for lessons all the way to 5pm. its a tiring dayy, long dayy. xun bought food for me to eat. one beef puff, half a stick of donuts and half a sausage puff. realised that i haven spent a single cent since monday. been eating at home all day.. saving up for building fund.. rest abit then took dinner and studied for mtb test...

had a bad headache the whole day.. i suspect that my migraine is back again.. which is not a good thing, esp when the weather nowadays is so unpredictable.. sighh..

saturday (111106)
its the first day of the vivocity thing roy and andrew had set up. went there to help out and made one glass paint stuff. its quite interesting la, and its definitely a good way to pass time. hahaa. went off to church as usual for svc. but in roy's car. hee im one of the lucky ppl that roy asked to take his car. reached expo only like 5 then we faster grab a bite before going into the hall. HAPPY ANNIVERSARY to DARYL and MENGCHIN! may u all be en en ai ai alwayss.

sunday (121106)
met shiwei then went to buy cactus for jia. after that chiong for cg. cg attendance was real bad. the no of ppl that turned up is like half of wad we expected.. roy and i were like HOW HOW, cos we dunno how to explain to mj. sharlynne took the cg. roy and i had some interesting convo. hahaa. so the both of us were like singing very loudly to bring up the atmosphere, thou my throat like quite pain. after the msg sharlynne prayed for me, then i heard God speaking to me "dont give up, press on and on. its tough but I'll be there for you!" its like woot, powerful, then tears juz come out of my eyes. went to zhiyan's bday party. met alot of ppl that i nv seen for a long time, like joelle. joelle was encouraging me all the way lorr, so quite touched. hee. hmm mj is back, and hopefully can get to talk to him soon. guess roy and i got alot of things to tell him ba. as for jia lei, wanna kill him liao. cos he left the cactus at mj hse forget to take. sighh..

monday (131106)
woke up like quite late, 11am. pon one language lecture then went to school for prac at 12. hahaa. went school only for 2hrs then go home le. cooked some waffle to eat. back to sleep, cos having quite a bad headache. slp all the way till dinnertime, means slp for like 4hrs. still having headache. as for now, im trying to be a good ger and study finish for my test tmr. hopefully i'll do well ba.. ciaoz. xDD keep me in prayers ba.

hmm i just asked myself alot of questions... questions that i cant answer... or maybe questions that i choose not to answer... feel like im running away from it... never told anyone about this before... and perhaps i wont... cos its too painful, the pain is too much for me to bear... let me keep this to myself for awhile more, before i decide to share it with u guys...

To shiwei,
hmm u gotta stop saying that u miss those days. i believe that when the time is here, u'll find someone that you love again. u know, getting hurt is not the end of the world. ppl always say that when u go into a relationship, u must be prepared to get very hurt. its time that u needa stand up on ur feet and cheer up. dun suffer alone for someone that is not worth your love at all. always remember that when u are feeling empty, having a void in you, seek God first. go and pray, praise and worship God. He will feel up ur emptyness and such feeling is really powerful and interesting. there is sth that i can feel bothering u when im with u, the burden cos of that situation. its gotta be a very painful process, but u cant stay in it forever. u do ppl who wans to be ur close frenz. sometimes its more of whether u are willing to open up to them. if u wanna talk to someone, i'll be here for u, at least i'll try my best to do so. if you feel like crying do cry.. cos crying is one of the ways that u can release the burdens.. ger trust in the ppl ard you, u are not alone...!!! huggiess~ xDDDDD

thursday (091106)
hmm stayed home the whole day.. once in a while im a super good ger. for a very simple reason, i was doing fyp for practically the whole day. from morning all the way to nightt. chiong report which end up to be only 9pgs and chiong al the 27graphs out. did like crazy lorr.. at night tok to darling till like 3am then handphone no batt. hahaa. and ya, im happy cos i completed my songsheet already, which means one lesser thing to worry abt.

friday (101106)
now im in the school library doing fyp again. quite dun like the feeling, cos like my member is commanding me to do this and that, that and this.. but yet, most of the things im the one that have been doingg. they have been slacking their way thru.. it is really irritatingg.. feel that sometimes no point going to school to meet up and do, i mean i rather do at home lor.. at home, i can concentrate better, dun have to see other ppl's face, whether they happy or not is not my problem.. if u are not happy keep it to urself, dun go around venting on other ppl. yupp but guess i do not have a choice. so gotta faster do and get done with it.. yingzz gotta jiayou le.

do keep me in prayers k. cos this few days really chionging alot. got two major tests next week and till now i still dun have the time to start muggingg. sighh. plus im having some endless work..

talked to roy for quite some time last night. we shared abt our life and our burdens for the cg. realised that there are still alot of things that are needed to be improved in the cg. and the next question will be how are we going to solve it. and like wad he said, the both of us needs to take charge of the cg, and to correct wadever things that are wrongg. went on to talk abt how its like to be a cgh and a cgl. talking to him is really interestingg. really made me to think of the things that i've nv tot before. things like "can a guy and a girl be best frens?", the answer is no. for a very simple reason, only Jesus, and our future wife/husband can be our best fren, we can only share all about us to them and not anyone else. he also told me that its gonna be real tough being a cgh in this cg, esp when im still a young christian and im exposed to so much of stuff. but i think its goodd, after all there are alot of ppl guiding me in this walk with God, moulding me to be a stronger person very single day.

wad a boring day. im home again cos its elearning week. sometimes human can be quite contradicting. its like when we are studying we want holidays, but when its our break, we complain that its boringg. haha. i practically cleared almost all of my elearning stuff, which means im quite free compared to the rest of the ppl. but i still got quite alot of other stuff, like my bioprocess worksheet, my FYP report, plant design project that i needa chiongg. dun really have that motivation to get it done. as for now, im being a slacker, not doing anythingg.

last night had a conference call with bro mj. he's going off to medan today so need the cgh to take care of the cg and to collect the attendance for the week and give to him by tmr. so now i got another two things that i needa complete. firstly our target attendance is 20 for svc, and 18 for cg. so gotta chiong cos roy and i promised to work hand in hand to help bro mj carry his burdens. secondly is that there is another project like the previous one at vivocity. this time andrew and roy will be opening up a stall there. and bro mj wans the cg to go down and show support.

ytd sms in to yes933, and dedicate song to darling and jia. dearest darling heard the dedication. hee. but that lil turtle lei, only realised it one hour after i ask him to go listen. feel like whacking him. hahaa. this sunday gonna celebrate zhiyan's bday. most prob darling and jia will be going down. its really something happy, as both of them are my closest frens. hee. really love spending time with them. :DDD muackiesss~

backtrack abit, here to updatee under the request of darlingg..
hahaa.. think she's the most faithful reader of my blog. this place where i crap the most.

friday (031106)
i went to school for practical. finally completed all the experiments that i need to do. and finally i can get myself OFF that system. stayed in school all the way till abt night, 7pm. then at night play pool with jia, till super late. hahaa.

saturday (041106)
met shiwei at 123o to attend cg. cg was pushed forward to saturday because its abt giving before we pledge. today is pledging day. the atmosphere in svc was rather different, but God's presence was really strong and moving thruout the svc. pst talked abt value, and moving into the realm of the precious. we may be giving a different amt, but of equal sacrifice. i pledged my building fund, of $xxxx. was sowing in tears, its really difficult. its my precious, sth that meant alot to me. when i placed it in God's hand, i know that it'll multiply and i'll reap a harvest. cos wad i sow i will reap rite? and hor, some turtle at home very cute sia. nv go svc then when pst ask those who dun have the dvd to raise up his hands, he sms me "i raise up my hands." lol. after svc went to tm to eat long john. after that we went over to jia's hse. by the time we reach his place is alr 1030pm. played abit of basketball. haha.. then sit there listen to them talk. i quite quiet ba, cos before that abit angry with someone. maybe cant really say is angry ba, juz didnt know wad to say, and thinking whether i offended him. hahaa.. left there at abt 1130. reached home abt 12am le. daddy screamedd.. hee. xDDD

sunday (051106)
stayed home for almost the whole day. din really do anything.. went to eat lunch with daddy n xun at jack's place. and now i owe some turtle jack's place. hmmm.... played pool again, for like a few hours. watched tv, and time for dinner le. dinner eat pizza hut.. hahaa.. jia must be super angry cos i suan him.

monday (061106)
met candice at chinese garden mrt station to go swimming. when we reach jurong east swimming complex then we realised that it'll only open at 230. ate kfc and slacked for awhile. sky turned black so we decided to leave. after we left, it rained heavily. thank God for His grace. headed to meet some ppl to go kbox at suntec. my design is finally up in ben n jerry suntec. ppl can go and take a look if they wann.. >:PPP

someone has been remindin me that i haven updated my blog.. hahaa. shall give a brief review of wad has happened for the past few days.

monday (301006)
as usual i went to school, and school ended quite early, like 2pm? went home for a rest then went to jia's hse after that.. supposed to meet at 5pm. i overslept and cos scared i late, i took a cab down, which cost me like $11. then reach there le realised that other than zhiyan all the rest is LATE. chinpor n huiying came awhile later, and we headed to jia's hse. meiping n wanlin went there by themselves. at jia's hse, its super paiseh. once again seem to have chased the granny n aunt out. felt super guilty, end up hide at the kitchen there cried, while the rest are happily enjoying themselves outside in the living room. they like a group of crazy ppl, go to ppl's hse and throw things here n there. after that we went to suntec to meet up with shiwei, candice n sam to eat dinner. bought daddy an icecream cake from swensens. i n my bro like faking out a show for my dad. haha.

tuesday (311006)
its a long day in school.. from 11 to 5pm. after that went home le.

wednesday (011106)
had test at 8am. the teacher super nice, put all the formula on the board, so all we needa do is to apply wad we've learned. the paper like maths paper, so not too bad. :DD had ptn at staff centre. ate their buffet, wasnt very nice thou. think there's only less than 10 dishes there. guess its the worse buffet i ever ate. lol. home to study for stupid bio test.

thursday (021106)
pon my first 2hr of tutorial, juz cos i needed slp. went for bio test straight away. 20mcq, of which half i dun really noe wads going on. but guess i'll be able to pass. hee. finally can go home le, its like im in sch only for the test, 1hr in sch. whee! can slack le, next week no school. lalalalala~ later going to jia's hse for last week cg msg. zzz. all the way to serangoon again. "can i not go?" better not let me c his aunt, PAISEH! hahahaaa....