disintegrate

rate

monday to thursday.
nothing really much happened within this few days.
school school and still school.
monday went out with candice, andrew and john to kbox, after that met up with shiwei.
tuesday went to chinatown with andrew. after that shiwei, chinpor and jia came to join us. had the famous porridge for dinner then went to swensens for ice cream. hahaa. jia finally got his new phone.
wednesday went for bs and met shiwei to go home together.

sunday (24 Sept)
met up with shiwei and took daddy's car to paya lebar mrt station to meet some ppl in the cg for lunch at 1230.
saw andrew and the rest at paya lebar rite before we leave to bro mj's hse.
andrew took roses from the svc. so i got 2. lol.
got up the bus to bro mj's hse. bus 43.
then very interesting. cos jia was also in the same bus.
no one actually noticed him, and he oso didnt notice us.
but we were making too much noise so he lifted his head up and was spotted by me. hahaa he so maluu.
cg was good.. praise was really powerful!!! another week of communication.
once again with rubez. and the best thing is that the both of us always share things with each another so ended up asking ourselves wad to say. =DD
after cg, half of the cg went down to east coast to fellowship.
zhixian, jia, chinpor, me, andrew, shiwei, candice, meiping, wanlin, weikiat.
me and andrew went to do the chalet thingy, jia acc chinpor to eat at the foodcourt, then the rest sat down to fellowship at the beach. think its quite good, cos can make the ppl sit down and talk.
after a while jia, chinpor, meiping, wanlin left. then left 6 of us.
we went to the foodcourt to eat. ordered alot of food. egg omelete, sambal stingray, sambal kangkong, sweet and sour pork, claypot tofu. blessed by zhixian.
took taxi down to suntec, there we eat ben and jerry icecream. then i draw on a paper for the shop to place it up. so next time when u guys pass by suntec b&j u'll realise a n239 design by me! XDD
shopped ard in carrefour to get stuff for the chalet, then chiong taxi homee.
alot of money was spent on that day, but all not by me. thanks to the blessings from the diff ppl.

hmm. slacking in my sch lib now. long time nv update le.
school started, so become quite busy.
this sem isnt a very good sem, cos its really stressful.
quite alot of projects that is needed to be completed.
the past few days have been quite happeningg.

saturday (23Sept)
went to meet up my cell group for lunch at bugis v8 cafe.
some things happened, people are all late. then i quite angry.
esp when i need to go for discipleship session that day.
in the end waited for them to reach at 220, i need to go off le since discipleship is at 3pm!!
cant afford to be late on that day. ended up taking taxi down from bugis to bro mj house. cost me $8.
discipleship session was good!!! the msg was about EARNING THE RIGHT TO LEAD OTHERS.
poor bro mj gotta fight with the makeup cell group in his house by sis darryl. praise and worship, hahaa! so he raise his voice...
learnt that leadership is not about the position, but its abt influence, how we could influence others to follow us.
selfworth is who we are, but networth is wad we wanna be.
and definitely, selfworth is alot greater than our networth.
everything that we do can be easily seen by our character and our reputation. character is IMPORTANT!!!!
to be a leader oso muz earn respect from the members, cos ppl will only be influenced by u if they respected u.
then bro mj gave us two missions.
first one is to reach out to at least one walk in every single week.
tried it out last week. quite difficult cos cant really see the difference betw the walk ins and members.
second mission is to break his record of 12 friends, and 7 saved within two months.
everything seems so impossiblee. i need to make it possible BY FAITH!!!
chiong to svc in taxi again. this time oso $8.
the moment i step into expo hall8, my work began....
praise over, worship over, but no walk ins. sadd. headed for the msgg.
after svc went to marina square to eat dinner, andrew blessed the members with ice-cream.
then went home in taxi again. this time with andrew and zhixian.
reached home, do songsheet, do noticeboard.
in the end only managed to slp at 5am.
tired dayy!!! but nicee... =DD

finally gained enough courage to speak to my dad.. thats the end of the battle! thank God for that!! he seems better now, more open to stuff.
its really the power of prayer. and thank those who prayed for me.
God is really good. He is always there, encouragin me, speaking to me thru the different people and things in my life.

went to school today, after so long!!
passed my cam to jane and helped her take a video of her proj.
then rushed off to ps to meet zy, andrew and zhixian for lunch.
darling came over to join us at a later time.
was discussing abt andrew's bday celebration. pray that things will go smoothly, and it'll not rain on that day.
after that zy went home, zhixian went to work. so end with me, andrew and darling. we went shoppingg.
tried quite a few clothes today. quite funny oso.
shiwei and hongbin came to join us for dinner at food republic.

hmm. recently guess really going thru valleys over valleys.
and it seems like its a nv ending process that i muz go thru.
esp this period of time. feel that God is trying to do a work in my life, and it really tests my faith.

my leg injuryy. its hurting more and more every single day. i have fear, i do not dare to go for treatment. but i noe that without treatment, it'll not recover. school is starting soon, which means even lesser possibility to go for treatment. when school starts, i'll really be busy. my timetable is so packed. i doubt i'll have time for treatment. the medicine that the doctor recommended alr dun seem to be able to work. even walking nowadays seem like a problem to me. all the sports that i loved, i gotta put it all aside. its really difficult to reject others abt something that u really love. when can i play volleyball once again, when can i go rollerblading with my cg members?? there's so many things i wanna do, but i feel restricted! wad m i supposed to do? arent i a person with firm decisions? then y cant i make a decision on this? for the past few months, and there's still no conclusion! i need guidance urgently... >:[

din start off the day well today, but thank God it ended alrightt.
woke up in the morning, and struggled to fight the battle againn.
dunno when this battle will ever end, i pray it'll be soon.
God, let not the devil take control. i shall bind the devil in Jesus name.
satan shall get behind me!! i'll not let him ruin my rs with my dad!!!!
ROARRRR!!!

im fasting.. for alot of things.
for cellgroup, personal life, spiritual life, friends that are around me, family, and for the outreach!!!
im lifting my burdens up to Him. its You i trust.
went out to bugis to meet zhiyan and andrew at tcc. couldnt order anything so end up drinking water.
chatted there for awhile then we left to take train.
andrew acc me to city hall, zhiyan went home to study.
from city hall, took the shuttle bus service to suntec.
was late for bs again. this time 20min.
rubez was toking to bro mj and today's bs all pushed back by half an hour. so in the end im not late. PHEWW!
completed my CL book today. having my test next week. so needa study hard cos im determined to do well!
had quite a good tok with bro mj.
we toked abt cell group, andrew and shiwei, my family, etcc. and he commented that i look very golden -.-"' lol.
he taught me to flow with the spirit. gonna have to try it out during cg this week. quite nervous and scary, hope things dun go wrong on that day!.
love spending time with bro mj.. every session i learn something new. he really widens my knowledge and thinkingg.
after bs, went to look for candice, andrew, xueni.
then i bought a new sweater at dano. black sweater... =DD
went to kbox. stayed there from 5 to 830pm.
i like singing together with xueni, cos the both of our voices can blend in.
so we decided that maybe next year we shall join talentine as a group!
met candice after her bs and went homee.
really nice to spend time with great ppl of God. FELLOWSHIPP~~

went out with jia, rubez, shiwei and raymond to bugis.
haha. so boliao.
our journey started at 7pm.
thatt jia commented on my hair.. say i join the wrong gang! humph!!! XD
but guess he quite shocked cos i nv tell him i going to dye my hair.. lol.
ate at the foodcourt there. then very funny cos i do alot of stupid things there, say alot of stupid things oso. MALUU!!!
become like the joke of the day.
go arcade. the arcade changed alot lorr.
oso dunno y go there.
me rubez and shiwei stoning there.
jia look at other ppl play like lil boy like that. hahaa. so cutee.
raymond play some guitarfreak game? he super pro!! like can do some many combo. i see the screen oso see till my eye pain.
took train home together with shiwei.
she came my house sit sit for a while then go home le.
haven talk to my dad yet. hmm oso dunno how to talk to him... =(

recently alot of things have been happening around me. cell group and even to the different people who are around me. been giving advices to certain people, and some decision was made. i do not noe whether its something good, but i had the support from bro mj.

within this few days, chatted with quite alot of people. rubez, chenli, jia, shiwei, andrew, zhiyan, bro mj. received alot of encouragement from them. this period of time is probably the period where i test my faith. will be handling alot of different stuff.

went to dye my hair ytd. the colour din turn out to be the colour that i expected. my dad wasnt happy abt it. he's really angry. he commented that i dunno look like chinese or ahmoh. now, he dun even wanna tok to me or face me. he felt that im mixing with all the wrong company, learning all the bad things from them. feel so sad, abit discouraged i guess. once again i disappointed my dad. didnt expect his reaction to be so big. i pray that things wont get worse.

Lord, i cry out to You.
hear my cry, teach me what to do.
guide me in this rocky road that im walking now.
be my strength to move on.
let me not be discouraged, let me walk according to Your purpose.

i dunno whether the things i do is best for everyone.
but i guess it would benefit them in one way or another.
they can choose to hate me for that, maybe?
i juz need to be accountable. for the things that are happening ard me.
im not really to pick up the mess when everything gets bad.
i rem someone told me this.
if i were to ruin a friendship becos of good intentions, i shld not be guilty or anything, i shld juz move on.
most of the time its the truth that really hurts right?
God placed me in such an important position, to be a listening ear to so many ppl.
its so difficult sometimes, esp when its sth u had to keep to urself.
thank God that no matter wad, there r ppl encouraging me thru my way.
ppl like bro mj, chenli, rubez, jia, zy etcc.
putting it this way, im blessed!!!
not everyone has ppl that r with them all the time....
so i do not have to worry of anything hur?
cos even if i lose one, i still got others to hold onto.
and God will guide my road... =PP

spend almost the whole day out.. with candice.
met her at clementi at 1pm.
went to mac for lunch. i din really feel like eating mac, so ended up only buying fries. and candice bought me apple dippers.
my dad wld haf tot im crazy cos i go mac and spend some $1 on apples when i got plenty of them at home. hahaa.
headed to kbox!!! sang from 230 to 630.
i practically din noe wad to sing. brain was quite blank.
after that went to suntec.
took 106 from clementi there. but 106 din stop at its usual location, convention centre, due to the stupid IMF thingy. however it stopped at some bus stop near marina centre.
its really hard trying to figure how to walk from there to suntec, cos there's like blockage everywhere. police everywhere?
think we took abt 15min juz to get out of that place and head to suntec. waste of time!! bleah! =XX
guess that IMF thing is really so fake. singapore is doing so much preparation for it.
they can do this for now, trying to make singapore such a perfect country. hmm but if they actually come back for holiday as tourists, wad will they think? their impression most prob would have changed?
hahaa. we shld be presented the way we are.
walked ard suntec. i bought my slipper! yeaa!!
for the first time, i see suntec so quiet.. there is like less than 50ppl shopping there. the shops wld have lost a bomb. no customers.
took shuttle bus from suntec to city hall. from there we walked to bras basah.
candice needed to buy a book. but when we reached there, the shops alr closed le.
sorry candice, we shld have gone there before going to suntec.
end up walk back to raffles place to look ard.
homee...

its nice toking and spending time with candice.
cos guess she's walking the path that i once walked.
can understand wads she's actually going thru.
its tough but no matter wad juz gotta hold on!!
candice is also someone i can open up to.
thank God for her!!! =DD

hmm. guess im not in the right mood this few days. alot of things have been in my mind. and things arent really going the way i thought it would be. its really quite hard to find someone that i feel like pouring all out to. i knew ppl will be there for me. but i couldnt bring myself to speak of certain issues. esp to the issues of my heart. has nth really gotta do with my past relationships. juz emptyness? many questions appear in my head. it all leads to this word WHY? guess i really hated this word alot. ppl tend to like asking this question. curiousity? i always dun haf the answers to the questionss. even if i had the questions, i always refuse to accept them. am i really happy? i dunno.. maybe all this while i have been holding on, pressing on. i noe God is there for me. i hear Him speak. wad now? all i needed was to guard my heart.. its juz too fragile, capable of breaking and tearing anytime. i feel like crying, crying real hard. but i guess i needa stand strong!! cos there's still so many things needed for me to do. i can only depend on God's strength for now. i need new revelations, i need new visions! i needa survive!!!

monday (110906)
went to school to do fyp. another 5plus hours of work. its getting a lil boring. its like a cycle alr. reached home at abt 430. then tried uploading the photos from my hp to the com by bluetooth. cos think got some problem with my memory card so cant upload using the usb cable.. T_T ended up uploading one photo at a time. and there are 200photos in my phone. took abt 2hours to complete uploading all of time. reformated my memory card. and hooray!! able to function like normal once again! which means i can save the money to get a new one. at night jia play music for me to listen thru this program called winamp. then all his songs all quite emo de. sad sad one. hmm...but quite interesting la.cos din noe got some cool program like this.

sunday (100906)
met up with shiwei at 1220 to go to marina bay . shiwei's dad gave us a ride there. *paiseh... managed to reach marina bay at abt 1pm after turning ard that area looking for the mrt station. alot of ppl there alr when i reached. half of my cg is late. haha! went down to control station to meet rubez. met up with jocelyn, meiping, wanlin, huiying, andrew, zhixian there too. practically at that time, the train that is going towards marina bay is only filled with bro mj's zone ppl. guess no one will go there at 1pm? time to gather, so brought the whole group up. then discussed with desmond on the groupingg. n239 and w384 was divided into 3 teams. my team got me, jia, shiwei, joc, rubez, zhihao. we din win. but we definitely had a great time. after all is the team spirit that really matters rite? we went from marina bay to bugis, to raffles, to chinatown, ended at ps. final destination was minds cafe. there we had praise and worship, games!!! hee =DD dismissed! went to eat chicken rice... hahaa.then i ran to get jia a haagen dazs ice-cream. c im nice rite? he said no cake, so i gave him ice-cream. for the 2nd time of the week, we celebrated jia's bday again. this time with a candle on the ice-cream.. my invention. and that candle? i went to ask from a cake shop auntie. so malu lorr!!!!! shopped ard ps, and landed at starbucks it is where all the gay stuff started to happen. its all betw zhiyan, jia, andrew and zhihao! -.-"' went off to take bus home. met up with benjamin, huijing and yixuan. hahaa. forever meeting ppl wherever i go. tok thruout the whole journeyy.. nice and fun day!! thou its tired, its fulfilling. yeah!!!

backtrack abitt..

friday (080906)
stayed at home for almost the whole day.
went to jack's place for lunch.
i ate chicken cutlet.. quite nice! =DD
in the evening met shiwei at clementi to eat dinner..
the most stupid thing is that i left my money at home..
so my savior daddy came to bring money to me. hahaa..
after that went to popular to get some stationary.
me and xun total spent $22 there. hahaaa.
total of 10pens, one book, one file.
took daddy's car home.
wished jia happy birthday at 12am disturb him..
ppl old le 21years old liao. hee!! =XX

saturday (090906)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JIAHUI!!! its ur big day..
went to sushi tei for lunch.the food there are like more ex as compared to sakae.
rushed home and rushed out.
daddy sent me to raffles place. then from there i took train to expo.
met up with jia, chloe, joey and jenna at tahan merah.
realised alot of ppl taking the same train.
rubez happened to meet shiwei. hahaa.
there's alot of ppl at expo again. cos of the food fair and the john little sale..
svc was good. toking abt communication.
the 5 levels of communication.
celebrated jia's bday as a cg.
then he oso received personal gifts.
the most interesting gift is actually the heart balloon from carol.
but in the end, the balloon ended up with me, in my house.
after svc had a meeting for the SHI ZHI LU KOU.
quite a lot of ppl were there for the meeting. different ppl from diff cg.
so ended up representing n239.
allan, yuezhe, desmond, peiwen, jiji, gloria, bro jason, sis reina, sis daryl, bro mj, etc...
met the rest of the cg athe foodfair. im like squeezing my way thru.
home sweet home in shiwei's dad car. =DD

update update!!
guess this two days alot of things happening, and it really made me think alot.
wad different ppl like jia, jeff told me.
in the start, i'll be abit disagree on wad they said.
but to think abt it, maybe wad they said are quite true.
makes me really think wad life's all abt..

shiwei juz asked me a question, "WHY?"
perhaps most of the time there's no answer to a question.
humans are complicated creatures.
its really difficult to try to understand another person.
after all, we r living in this broken down world.
no one is perfectt!
everyone is different. there's no two person that are exactly the same.
even twins are not the same in terms of personality, etc.

wad does friendship even mean?
for some, maybe its juz a simple HELLO?
but for me its really different.
i hope to have a divine relationship with my friends.
i wanna noe how my fren is living their life.
in reality, most ppl dun think this way.
tis can be sad sometimes.

there are many kinds of relationship with ppl i guess?
introduction, acquintances, frenship, intimate rs.
at least, i pray that with my frens, we r either acquintances, or even frenship.
i dun wish to have a rs that is like introduction.
whereby when we c each another all the time, the only thing we can actually say is HELLO?
isnt it sad? to me, i wont rather not have them as my frens.
after all, wad do i actually noe abt them? nth?
wad can we noe abt others thru hello?

im looking for frenz,
ppl that i can trust upon,
ppl that i can pour my pain to,
ppl that can guide me in my walk with God,
ppl who will help me grow spiritually.
im truly blessed.
cos i do haf at least one fren that is like that.

ultimately, my best friend can only be Jesus.
He will nv fail me.
and He is always there, in my darkest moments.
i shall bow down to You, i shall go down on my knees.
giving You all the praise and all the glory. worshipping You all my days.
wad more could i ask for?
all i desire is You!!

for the past two days, dun have to do FYP.
i have been chionging alot of anime.
think like total watched 20+ episodes of full metal alchemist.

ytd.
went to school intended to do FYP.
end up my group member tot the lab will be closed so nv go -.-""
so i went home.
watched anime then went for bs at church office.
CL lesson 9. yeah! finishing my book soon.
toking abt ministry. bro mj placed me in tuition ministry.
im like really gonna go in by faith, cos im not sure how much of a help i can be to the ppl.
bs was with chinporr.
chinporr asked bro mj abt GS test.
in the end, we ended up taking the test on the spot.
hmm 30mcq questions.
not that difficult la. but here and there some is guessed de.
bopian. im like going for a test without studying! =XX
walked ard at suntec for awhile.
good news!! the slippers that i wan will have new stock coming in.
HAPPY!!!! =DDDDDDDD
after tht went to ps to look for darlingg. chinpor tagged along.
went there saw alot of pigss.. most of them quite cute de..
looking for someone's present but dunno wad to buy..
darling went for bs. so i go meet zhiyan.
he's late again!!! as usual!! =(
somemore made me walk all the way to OG to wait for him.
landed at centrepoint. walk walk walk walk walk, shiwei came join us le.
practically we r like doing our own shopping.
from centrepoint to cine to heeren to ps, back to look for darlingg.
ate dinner with darlingg. the both of us ate yong tau fu.
bought HONEYDEW SAGO!! hahaa.. need to destress!!
disturb wanlin, then disturb zhiyan. hahaaa
after that we decided on the present to buy le. heheee..
shop shop abit then go home le.

today.
woke up at 10am. by my stupid bro...
chiong anime from 11am all the way to 5pm.
then prepare abit to go and meet darlingg and ssp at cck.
reached cck at abt 630.
ssp in green lor!! ARMY ATTIRE
hahahaahahahhahahhahaaaaaa.. and he shld stop asking me y im laughingg..
bleah =XX
k im juz bad! that i admit.
darlingg needa buy present for samuel.so we walked round and round.
saw alot of piggss again!! hee. im gonna get one home!
eat dinner at the foodcourt.
we share 2 plates of carrot cake (black and white).
dessert... darlingg eat honeydew sago, i eat ice longan.
but the dessert there not nice de.. =(
ssp went arcade
darlingg bring me go try dress again. gold colour de.
darlingg wear one white dress then very prettyy..
meet ssp le then take train homee.
bro mj call me to check the no of ppl going for overnight prayer meeting tml.
so msg everyone... end up calling them...
conclusion. only 3ppl can make it.

tml i wanna go crash w384's cg.
cos think this week n239 wont be having cg.
i wanna be in the presence of God!!!!
the place where i can find peace.
GOD I WAN REVIVAL!!!!!! XPPPP

another translated version of Full Metal Alchemist ending songg:
(similar to the previous one, juz abit different in the lyrics)

the day you left to journey
it was as usual
you waved your hand "later"
as if tomorrow
we would meet in this town again
to believe in love
means i will not lose to myself
until the days my dreams come true
smiling, gazing at the stars, offering prayers
for i am here
i want to remain as a sky to you
to embrace even sorrows
everytime you look up you're not alone
like thinking, far away
so that there is a place for you to return.

translated version of Full Metal Alchemist ending songg:

on the days you leave...
you wave your hand and say "goodbye"normally
as if we would see each other again
in this city tomorrow.
to believe in love...
means you will not lose to yourself
until your dreams come through...
i will be smiling and looking up at the stars and praying
and i will be here
i wan to be your sky
and envelope ur sadness
whenever you look up, you will know you are not alone
even if you are far away
you know you have a place to come back to...

very touching songg... alot of sacrifice that most ppl will not be able to give up for...

had short prac session for FYP today.
only like did for 4hrs? 5 experiments..
after that went home watch tv and anime.. slp!!!!
nth much la. practically slack the whole day.

checking out attendance for bro mj.
SHI ZHI LU KOU outreach.
as usual, the members are always out of reach.
only a few replied. so ended up needa call up the members again.
till now, 6members and 3friends goingg.
guess bro mj would be quite sad to hear only so lil of us.
pray that there'll be more to come.
still waiting for the reply of the other half of the cg..

have been discussing on wad to buy for someone's bday.
then zhiyan was telling me that we shld share money as a cg to buy blades.
im like ARE U CRAZY? doesnt he noe that most of our cg ppl have financial needs? doesnt he noe its not cheap?
i mean if its gonna be a personal gift im fine with it. but a cg gift??
hmm..
finally understood how darling is feeling.
esp when u have totally different views with the cgh.

supposedly... jia, zy, rubez, me were to b the core of the cg.
then slowly bringing the others closer to us.
it was our vision i guess? for cell group unity.
but i feel the four of us splitting apart.
now im only closer to rubez.
the bonding between jia and zy seems so far away.
our thinking are no longer the same.
everything seemed to have changed, everythings seemed so different.
why?? i seriously wished i had an answer.
LORD, i pray for this friendship. that we'll be able to move together as one.
we're living for only one God. =l

today nv really do anything again.
spend most of the time at home.
surfing the net, watching tv, looking for my worship song.
SYFC contacted me again. they asked me to prepare a worship song.
so most prob i'll be singing YOU ALONE!!
hmm but i still haven got the mp3. pray that i'll b able to find it.
haven tell bro mj abt it yet. not sure of wad his response wld be.
at least im gonna make sure that it doesnt crash with my church!
talked on the phone with rubez for almost 3hrs.
hahaa. its been a long time since i last talked to her.

last night talked to darling till 3am.
we were talking abt cell group.
then we realised that our cell group multiply at the same time.
and from multiplication to now is alr 6 months!!!!
time really flies very quickly.
within this 6 months wad did we really achieve..
hmm.. conclusion is that we gotta buck up!!!!
cant remain like this anymore.
N344 and N239 jiayou ba!!!

juz msg jeff wanting to ask him wad time is his flight tml.
then he tell me his plane was brought forward.
he juz got off the plane.
so he's back in indo alr. roaming to sms me...
quite sad la. cos actually decided on sending him off.
sighh if i were to ask him ytd, i wld have send him off today.
im always one step late...
wadever!! =((
perhaps its juz God's will ba..

this few days have been thinking of jeff alot.
dunno y but alot of things going thru my mind.
i noe i shldnt be thinkingg. sighh~
and i noe ppl will come to me telling me that its over, and i shld juz stop thinkingg.
if bro mj noe, think he'll definitely scold me!!
jeff's going back to indo on tue (5 sept).
thinking whether i wanna send him off.
there isnt a time when i nv send him off, or fetch him from the airport.
even after we broke up, this routine still holds.
but this time is diff, our friendship changed quite abit.
will i regret it i dun go? or will i regret if i go?
im not suree.
this topic, i seriously do not feel like bringing up.
cos it holds alot of memories. alot of happy n sad times....
u're someone that brought a lot changes to my life...

imma piG today!
woken up by stupid mr andrew this morning at 850.
but i chose not to pick up, and went back to slp.
end up woke up at 12.
3 miss calls. samuel, zhiyan and andrew.
to samuel, im sorry. cos i asked u to come yet im not there...
ate lunch with daddy at homee.
really trying to spend more time with my dad cos im always not homee.
supposed to meet darling at ps to get present.
in the end oso nv go.. too tired le.
sorry darlingg!!!
went back to slp...
had pizza hut for dinner!! whee!
practically i've almost wasted my whole day at homee.

REALLY NEEDA FOCUS ON GOD!!!!!!!
this few days, things do happen.
then nv really spend time with God.
my committment to God?
hmmmmm...................

daddy bought breakfast for me today. soy bean and you tiao.
my bro took half of my youtiao to eat. hahaa.
goodd cos i not hungry.
lunch went to eat ivins with daddy and xun.
then daddy order alot. assam fish head, mixed vege, sambal prawns, beef rendang. eat till wanna vomit...
but i still eat dessert.. melaka sago.. very sweett.
hee. zhiyan very funny. he call me ask me where im, cos he alone then wanna ask me go down acc him.
went home and got myself prepared to go church.
daddy send me to raffles place, then i went to meet shiwei at the mrt station.
the mrt today is super crowded. think is cos of the IT fair at expo.
practically gotta squeeze my way into the mrt, esp the train from tanah merah to expo.
today svc toking abt finances. how we shld spend our money wisely.
i think its really very impt to plan our finances, and make the right decision when deciding on buying sth.
many times i c ppl buy alot of stuff. then i wld ask myself, do they actually need all those stuff? haven they got quite a few of them alr?
think alot of ppl go on impulse buying. they really nv think whether they need it or not, yet they buy cos they think they like it.
i've learnt, money doesnt fall from heaven. so we really gotta plan on how we gonna spend our money.
its good to have money management! yeah!! buy the things that we really need.
so in glad pastor preached abt it. made me even more aware of its importance.
after svc, went to city hall for dinner.
at first wanted to go to marina square, then changed to some thai restaurant, finally to funan foodcourt.
we're juz a bunch of indecisive ppl. hahaa...
went there ate minced pork noodle and mango pudding..
hmm its really been a long time since i last ate minced pork noodle.
think the last time was one year ago.
i dun really eat it cos i really hated vinegar... so requested for lil vinegar today.
DESSERTT!!! realised i had been eating alot and alot of dessert recently..
hahaa.. too bad my dessert partner, darling not ardd.
darlingg, i'll acc u eat dessert!! heee.........
on the way home, as usual kana disturb by sam.
dun understand how come ppl like to disturb me with certain thingss.
is really abit childish la. maybe its time he needa grow up!!!
ppl speak the right thing at the right time.
if its not required, then dun say, juz keep it to urself...
for those whose mouth is too itchy and cant stop toking, i shall feed u to some chilli. rub them on ur lips so that u can keep it shut.
hahaa... wads abt loving my neighbour as myself.
God shall forgive me for this once. i shall be badd!!!
ROARRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
=DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

today spend most of my time at home.
went out to eat lunch with my bro and dad.
then came home to vaccuum my floor and tidy my room abitt.
shiwei came my house. went to jp eat long john for dinner..
wanted to c whether got my slipper, in the end oso dun haf.. siann..

revival meeting was really good today.
was about FIRE FOR GOD!
my fire for God is there. but the question is how much fire do i have? i wanna have that fire that will burn in the holy passion for God.

today im really angry with 2 things.
one is cos i dun like others to always tell me wad to do and control my life. i feel that my life is by the decisions tat i make, and wad God wans me to do. but yet y is it that others always like to tell me to do this and that.
the other is cos i dun like the atmosphere this someone gives. this atmosphere always affects the people ard him.

wad does God wan me to do?
is it to be angry? NOO!!! thats not in God's mind.
God asked me. wad can i do for Him..
can i give up my slp and my free time juz to worship and pray to Him? can i sacrifice all juz to go after Him? do i wanna seek Him and His kingdom.
i teared.
i needa wake up! i needa be stronggg!!!!
there's so many things God wan me to do.
God doesnt wan me to give up. He wans me to keep going on, keep trying..
my heart longs for Him. my heart longs for the heart of many.
i pray that the ppl ard me are happy..
but it seems so far away.
i wanna impact their lifes. i wan them to walk in the vision God placed in their life.
wad can i do? i can pray and fast for them. but its really up to them whether anot they wanna take my advice.
i wont give up, but will they give up?
im putting faith and trusting God abt it.
i need strength. i need wisdom.
thank God for wad He had done in my life..
burden for cell group!! unity!!!
im gonna get it done! i needa get it done.
unity is so important.
arent we one body of Christ? thats y we needa stand as one, and not as individuals. we gotta move towards that same vision, and move together.
i wan the Holy Spirit. move in me like nv before....
im gonna start moving forward.. im not gonna take steps backward anymore..
i'll rejoice for great is our God! i'll give Him all the praise...
i live for You, alone. i love You, Jesus. =DDDD

haha.. today very fun..
went with shiwei to ps to meet darling.
reached there at 130 so went to eat lunch first.
as usual i always indecisive of wad to eat.
then in the end went to eat dessert again. but this time is hot dessert.
shiwei eat fishball noodle soup. but very funny cos her noodle the auntie gave her meepok.
so meepok in soup! hahaaa =XXX
after a while darling came find us.
darling gave shiwei her purple dress. the one she bought for sis monica's wedding. then only wear once..
supposed to catch LOVE WRECKED at cineplex at 215.
when we left ps alr 2 le.
somemore rainingg.. the rain so heavy lorr.
darling and me ran in the rain to cineplex..
then end up both of us all quite drenched...
go there buy tix. we sit in the 2nd row from the front..
the movie very nice...
the ger very pretty lorr. and i like her skin colour.. abit tan tan de...
the ending oso very nice..
bought hot cocoa to drink at starbucks.. cos got $5 voucher.
left cineplex then went into a THIS FASHION shop on the way.
darling make me try alot of clothes today..
then she bought one pink colour top for me.. PINK!!!!
haiyoo.. darling dun waste money k!!!
homee.....

playing game with shiwei noww.. im gonna win her!!
i dun care!!! humph!! xDDDDDDDDDDD