disintegrate

friendship?
i rem once chenli told me that jiahui said he's close to me n zhiyan in the cg
i have been asking myself for the past few weeks.
wad does the word "close" mean?
toking onli to each another only when we needa go church?
asking each another wad time we will reach?
to me, being close to someone means sharing your tots.communicating.

so many times i wanted to tok to jiahui and zhiyan.
about opening up.i wanna understand wad u guys are really thinking inside.
im actually quite tired of c-ing only the happy side of u.
whenever i asked the both of u whether u have anything that is troubling u,
the onli answer i get back is "no lah"
the no. of times i ask is like equal to the no. of times i get rejected by u guys.

i once told zhiyan.
i do miss the period of time when we tot that me,zhiyan,jiahui,rubez are the core of the cell.
i rem at least we communicated with each other, enjoyed each another's presence.
how much i treasured those moments, all the happy moments.
wad about now?sigh...
zhiyan said something like we r always changing, cant expect things to be the same all the time.
when he said that, i tot.
so does frenz only mean this little to u?
i really think im upset.disappointed with u guys.

rubez, i thank god for u.
u're the only one that i think im close to.
i love listening to u share about ur stuff, i love your presence.
spend almost 4hrs juz toking to u today.
but i think this 4hrs is realli fruitful, at least to me
it might be juz sitting at one corner and enjoying each another's presence
u really make me feel important in your life.
THANK YOU RUBEZ!

to jiahui and zhiyan,
if u guys happen to read this, i wanna tell u that i really care for u two
i wanna understand u ppl more.......