disintegrate

rate

i told myself that i will never wanna do decisions that i'll regret one day.
looking situations are different periods of life, im not sure whether im regreting.
sometimes it just seems i dun really know myself.
im kinda a complicated person.

come, you tell me, wad kinda person m i.
:X

all this while, i cant make up my mind whether anot to close down this blog.
blogging is not really a part of my lifestyle.
but my current situation makes me wanna blog.

once again, i feel as thou im draining my life away.
staying home and doing nothing makes me sick.
im bored, really bored.
in the midst of looking for a new job in this bad economy.
workload suddenly seems alot for a low paid job.

all day long, i just couped in my small room.
chatting with ppl, playing some games, watching some show.
yet im not satisfied.
im not happy with wads going on right now.
i desperately wanna go out and work on something.

man, sometimes God puts us thru hard times to strength us.
and i believe im really going thru one now.
i needa a really big breakthrough.
i dun wanna live a life like this.
there's so much out there.
praying hard for that miracle to happen.

there are times like this where your friends just seem too busy for you.
there are times like that where everything just seems wrong and doesnt go your way.
i guess i just gotta stay strong, and believe in Him.

God, im crying out to you.

我太執著了。也許我不應該這樣的執著。
受傷了，後悔了，能則麽辦？

給的太多，傷得太多，失去的更多。
我真的輸了！

respect.

in life, there'll always be ppl who disagree to decisions that others make.
however, we shld always learn to respect other ppl's decision as much as we wanna change their minds.

i respect others for who they are, and the decisions that they make.
and i hope that others will also respect me for who i am, and respect the decisions that i make.

there are reasons for the decisions that i make in life.
maybe to others, this might be so small or even nothing.
but to me, this is about trust and its my life principle.

i believe my true friends will respect me for all that im and my decisions.

life is contradicting.
many times, we try to pretent that certain things do not exist, thou they keep running in our minds.
many times, we try to deny so hard wad our mind and our heart says.

i guess this is wad i feel after seeing so many ppl coming in and out of my life.
i see ppl come to church and backslide.
the fact that why cant ppl still remain as friends after they made the decision to backslide from God.
does it mean that they start sliding away from us too?
does it mean that we should stop communicating to each another.

sometimes i ask myself, how much is our spiritual level related to the world.
yes, the world does affect us.
but again, its back to our faith right?

there's someone i know who used to be very close to me.
somehow he left and went to another church.
there he grew and here im happy for him.

isnt it as simple as this.?
church is suppose to be about love.

i learn to love non believers and believers.
i learn to love the ppl around me.
cos at the end of the day, i've to learn from everyone.

there're so many things that i have yet to know.
i do not just wanna stay in my comfort zone and wait for the promises.
i wanna go out and see the world and experience it for myself.

hmm school sucks..!
its sucks to be back at work, when there is stacked up work from the past 2 days.
BUSY BUSY BUSYY!

COUNTDOWN.
3 more days to weekends!

im back to work today after slacking for many days since last saturday.
took two days of leave to accompany BOO after he returned to sg and for his birthday.

saturday after church, went to imm with cell.
needed to get jia a gift for his cg present.
arghhh it was really difficult.
i nearly gave up.
we shopped almost the entire imm, till we ended up at s&k just before we left at 9pm.
found a cool belt! =]
thank God!

sunday was interesting.
cell ended really early, which was out of wad i expected.
normally we'll end at about 4.30pm, yet that day it ended at 3.45.
i was stunned cos needed to fetch jia from airport at 6.30pm.
so ended up slack slack till 5plus, chatting with the guys and disturbing them.

jia reached sg before we reached the airport.
but we still managed to reach the arrival hall earlier than him due to all the admin check out things that they have to do.
so there comes that silly boy.
playing with his trolley inside, refusing to come out.
haha. so i disturb him with an sms "stupid pig, faster come out. stop playing with that trolley"
keke. the best part is he came out not seeing me.
so, he saw the cg ppl who were supposed to give him a surprise.
hmm anyway im glad that he 's back.

monday jia accompanied me to get his gift together with huiying and kenneth.
watched wall-e. simple movie, but interesting.

yesterday was BOO's birthday.
went to celebrate at fisherman wharf with kinsung, lijuan, zijian, sijia, joelle, simon, jermery, huizi and kenneth.
the food there is good!!
then headed to settlers to play some games before heading home.

it marks the end of my holidays.
back to work.

BOO, its good to have you back by my side.

Song by Chris Tomlim:
New version of Amazing Grace.
Its touching, and realy speaks of a Christian's walk with God. =]