disintegrate

ytd went for cgm.
atmosphere was quite bad. esp during praise and worship, everyone seems quite reluncant to sing. it so quiet thou there are abt 20ppl there. bro mh felt it too...
the first half of the worship, really couldnt feel the presence of God.. then i press on and on, the presence of God suddenly flow thru me, and i started to tear.
svc n cg are the place where i really experience His presence most. while looking for the walk-ins, i miss a few praise and worship sessions. this is the period where i knew in my heart how impt it is to praise and worship God. it really feels weird when u couldnt do so...
after cg, actually wanted to fellowship and eat at the foodcourt. but ended up when we reached the foodcourt, the gers start saying that they wanna go to huiying's hse. the guys dunno where they wanna go. jia went home, i got quite fed up and went home too. sometimes juz felt that n239 juz gotta be more organised!!! there isnt any bond betw the cg, which is something really badd. its really hard to handle one cg where the cg does not wanna flow with u, and all they could think abt is themselves. i mean arent we supposed to be a family, arent we supposed to stay together as one?? im tiredd, really tiredd!
when everyone left, i took a cab home. waited for the bus but it din wanna come, and i wasnt in the rite mood for waitingg.
talked to jia online almost the whole night. like from 6pm to 3am? thats long rite? talked abt cg, etcc... he told me abt something (guess darling will noe wad im toking abt) which was really quite saddeningg. i sat there, i cried. he is like my pillar, supporting me... couldnt imagine how it would be like if that really happens.
then at night very funny, he come and nag at me.. but he kana say back.. so JIAHUI U BETTER BEHAVE!!!!